Wednesday 31 October 2012

Day:305, Words:305

It is Halloween in scary, dark Øksfjord. There aren't many Americanisms that have crept into the culture above the Arctic circle, yet the art of trick or treating has taken off here.

The celebrations started at the school library which the student council had decorated in true 'All Hallows Eve' style. A quiz was organised and prizes given out to the winning team. During arts and crafts lessons, young students have been designing and moulding their own frightening masks in preparation for tonights activities.

A twist of fate and good timing allowed many to stock up the houses of tasty snacks to deliver out to the wandering kids. The MIX kiosk was closing its doors today, due to the lack of interest in taking over the business. As a result, everything in the store was half price including all of the lollies that would be given out and ultimately consumed later that evening. It is a shame that large initial costs have priced potential kiosk managers out of the market and we are all wondering what will happen to the postal service. Where will we collect our Christams packages?

A chilly, dark night created the perfect atmosphere for small vampires, zombies and poltergeists to shuffle through the village, knocking on doors and collecting goodies.

There was a rush in Vassdalen between 5 and 7pm, before most moved on to the central celebrations at the 'Dattera til Larson' cafe in the centre of the village. I'm not totally aware of the rules and regulations of Halloween trick or treating, yet I believe that kids knock on a door, ask the question and walk away with a handful of lollies. Some of the goblins that came to our door were already clutching entire cakes, full bags of potato chips and large bottles of Coke. Times have changed!

 

Tuesday 30 October 2012

Day:304, Words:304

New York is in the headlines even up here. As Hurricane Sandy wreaks havoc on the east coast of America, a family from Alta was caught up in the chaos as their new home in New York state was crushed by a falling tree as a result of the storm. The freak weather patterns in the U.S have sparked conversations throughout the staff lunch rooms in the village. The consensus was that in the good old days, winters were snowy and cold and summers were warm and dry. As we look out the window today and see piles of crisp snow on the sides of the road, it looks as though it is here to stay, yet if previous years are any measure, Christmas Eve may well be a snowless affair. The ever accurate weather guessing service has anticipated milder temperatures, bringing a heap of rain. Who knows, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

James Bond fever is also sweeping the northern parts of the globe. The newest installment 'Skyfall' has hit the screens in Alta and will make its Øksfjord premiere next Tuesday evening. Coincidentally, local politicians are discussing the possibility of opening a new daily fast boat route between Alta and Hammerfest. The name of the new route is of course......route 007. The most sensible argument for the implementation of the new service is the safe transportation of patients from the Alta health centre to the hospital in Hammerfest. The road between Alta and Hammerfest is long and unpredictable, especially in winter.

Tuesday is swimming day for the 0-5 year olds, and today there were two young boys who were lucky enough to have the entire pool to themselves. The beach in Øksfjord may not be enticing, but the warm pool will be appreciated throughout the darker, colder months.

 

Monday 29 October 2012

Day:303, Words:303

The arrogant Manchester United fans were out in force today, following a controversial win over the league leaders Chelsea. Øksfjord is full of the red devils supporters and their smug faces were everywhere you looked in this town that has a massive interest in the English Premier league.

The skies began to clear yesterday and today it was a glorious picture of the startling blue against the crisp white of the covered mountains. The clear day also arrived with a drop in the temperature.

The river across the road from our house that has been raging throughout the pitiful summer and the extended autumn, yet now had stopped dead and starting to freeze over. The cars also noticed that the mecury had fallen 8 degrees below the line that marked zero. The Citroen coughed and splutted before finally warming up and heading on its way along the crunchy, icy roads. Some of the diesel cars are equiped with an internal motor warmer and needed to be plugged in before driving.

At around midday each day, a booming sound is echoed around the valley. The Tokyo to London flight route passes right over Øksfjord and the sight of the magnificent jet and its trail of white is a stunning picture on a day like today.

There is news from Hammerefest that police are not happy with the behaviour of some of the fishermen that were rescued from their sinking boat on Friday afternoon. After cheating death during a dramatic rescue in a storm, the men celebrated their lucky escape at an popular night venue. They celebrated a little too hard and refused to leave the premisis at closing time. One of the survivors hit out at police, while another began operating a nearby bulldozer. The officers had no choice but to use pepper spray.













 

 

 

Sunday 28 October 2012

Day:302, Words:302

Continuing on from the party summary, the music started to heat up around 10pm and the guests, onced they finished digesting their salted meat, were flooding the dance floor. From an outsiders veiwpoint, it appears that Øksfjordians are born with a set of dance moves installed. Either that or as 4 year olds, all Øksfjordians are marched up to the town hall to enroll in the compulsory Øksfjord swing course. As a new Øksfjordite, I did not possess the abilities necessary to join in, as the dance floor looked like a well choregraphed scene from a 1974 film.

The young men, who were responsible for the music received good feedback. While delivering the classical Norwegian hits, the talented group also provided some forgotten Beatles b sides and other similiarly modern themes.

After gathering a sweat, the dancers and music men took a break as the cakes and coffee table was set. The cakes were donated by the good women folk of the village. There was chocolate cake, cheese cake and something called the world's best cake, which in my view would barely make the top ten list. The coffee was available in large stainless steel thermoses and a tiny packet of coffee cream was available to the three that like theirs white.

Towards the 2am mark, some of the guests, probably those with smalll children arising at 7am, began to make their way homebound. One of the traditions is to begin making food at home in the early hours, before retiring to bed.

It was also time to turn the clocks back an hour as summer time had come to an end. The extra hour came as a blessing for many. Of course, the small children don't care about the clocks. As we head towards the period of darkness, neither will we.





































 

Saturday 27 October 2012

Day:301, Words:301

While Finland does swimming pools well, Øksfjord does a mean town hall party.

The occassion for tonight's little shindig was the annual Øksfjord sports club autumn party. At the last count, over 100 had registered interest in the popular and member exclusive do. It was no suprise that the event was a sell out with the 300 kroner enterance fee including a glass of non alcoholic sparkling wine, salted meat, peeled potatoes, cream drowned cakes and black coffee.

The band was booked from Alta and most expected the stock standard list of classic Scandinavian numbers, combined with Eurovision hits from the 1980s and some Thin Lizzy.

The big event began at 8pm, with guests paying in cash to the teenage girls at the door. After accepting a complimentary plastic cup of non fermented bubbly, the most important step was to quickly scan the room for empty chairs, while at the same time joining a table, full of people you don't mind setting up a base camp with.

The guest reached into their magic sacks and pulled out a range of thirst quenching products. Whole casks of cheap chardonnay, bottles of shiraz, cans of cider and one litre buckets of the cheapest Russian vodka available at the tax free hall, were among the goodies.

Among the guests each year is the underage group that left Øksfjord's shores last year after completing year 10. Usually the parents are keeping a close eye to make certain that nothing inappropriate is being consumed.

The meal is a stand and collect affair, with the cooks dispensing vegetables and some cuts of salted meat, a delicacy in these parts. After many have satisfied themselves with second and third helpings, the customary 'Thanks for the grub' speech is conducted on the stage.

Read tomorrow's post for more details!



 

Friday 26 October 2012

Day:300, Words:300

Last night was some of the worst driving conditions, I have ever encountered. Luckily, the trips were short, but the visability to be kind, was limited. The large amount of fresh snow combined with the hefty winds created a cauldron of swirling chaos. I could hardly see a metre in front of me and at one point, had to stop the car completely, engulfed in a blizzard, that looked like something a snow machine would create for a Holywood Christmas film scene.

Outside of Hasvik, a largish fishing boat capsized, sparking an emergency rescue. Such an event is not uncommon and there have been situations that have ended in tragedy. The fact that full winter storms have hit at the end of October instead of early January is a suprise to even the oldest of locals.

The effects of the storm were not limited to the sea. Roads were closed throughout the entire northern region. The daily bus from Tromsø to Burfjord was hit with a series of delays. Due to the rough seas, the bus couldn't make its scheduled crossings on the ferries. To make matters worse, the Kværnangsfjellet mountain pass was closed due to the amount of snow and scary stormy conditions. This particular piece of road is the cause of many frustrating times for those trying to get to and from Tromsø for flights, work conferences and the world's most northern university.

For those on the bus heading towards Øksfjord, plans had to be adjusted as the notorious road remained closed, certainly not for the first time this season. Living up here can sometimes be tough, yet everyone takes the good with the bad and the road closures, cancelled buses and boats that can't pull into the ports are things that will occurr from time to time.

 

Thursday 25 October 2012

Day:299, Words:299

The wintery onslaught continued today. Yesterday's sudden snowiness was trumped by the shock today as I opened the curtains and peeked outside. Against the morning darkness, I could make out the height of the snow levels on the verandah. I braced myself as I looked out to where the cars are parked. The realisation wacked me in the face. There was a lot of work to do before these vehicles would be able to make it to work. Even if frantic shovelling would release the cars from their snowy cocoon, the roads had not been touched since last night. The main roads always have the top priority and there are those who have also booked the ploughs for their private driveways. Either we would have to wait, or we could make a daring attempt to make it to the main road, which hopefully would have been cleared.

Fortunately, another car before me had also attempted to crush through the fresh snow and make it to the intersection. By following his tracks, the Toyota made it through, and continued up the hill towards work.

At school a bunch of year 6s and 7s were starting their second day of a three day film camp. One group were working with the production of their own film, while the others were busy designing and putting together their own costumes.

At 8 pm, it was time for the gentlemen fitness group to begin. While the old boys group can at times become very competitive and occassionally overheated, the Thursday event is more of a social gathering. In fact, many of the same men have met on a Thursaday at the same time for 26 years. An hour of three on three football is always followed by some stretching and some lively male conversation.

 

Wednesday 24 October 2012

Day:298, Words:298

The more it


SNOWS-tiddely-pom,

The more it

GOES-tiddely-pom

The more it

GOES-tiddely-pom

On

Snowing



And nobody

KNOWS-tiddely-pom,

How cold my

TOES-tiddely-pom

How cold my

TOES-tiddely-pom

Are Growing.



Winnie the Pooh of course sang this catchy tune, written by his creater A.A Milne. The little ditty/poem ran through my head continuously today.

When it rains, it poors. When it snows, it......snows really really hard. It is not that it came early, as the prolonged dry and relatively mild autumn has been enjoyable. As of yesterday, kids were riding bikes and kicking goals on the football ground. Usually, the snow arrives at some stage in October and then retreats again, before settling in for the winter season from November to April. Last night and today, it tumbled down at a massive rate for hours and hours.

The chaos created by the sudden infestation of snow was widespread and tragic. Hanging summer flowers were swamped by the white stuff. Outdoor furniture was soaked in the heavy fall and almost disappeared in the knee high snow. Many were caught srambling to the garage in search of shovels, scrapers and brushes to release the car from the sudden onset of wintery wickedness. It was a constant scene of local Øksfjordians that had been hit unprepared. It was like a switch had been pushed from autumn to winter as the transition was performed almost instananeously.

Cars were fighting their way through the fluffy slush, with many not making it up the slippery hill. Those who finished working in the afternoon were shocked to find their vehicles buried under a car shaped pile of snow. Pedestrians were also performing their best Bambi inpersonations as the health centre prepares for the boken bone season. Being graceful is very hard to do on a day like today.



 

Tuesday 23 October 2012

Day:297, Words:297

The afternoon swimming program is well and truly underway for the autumn / winter season and provides a free of charge opportunity for everybody to have a dip from ages 0 - 99. Although perhaps we take it for granted sometimes, this wonderful service is not widely available to similar sized commnities, or even larger cities for that matter. The pool is only around 15 metres long, yet is suitably warm enough for the oldies and the kiddies to float around. This year, it appears that the salt level is up and the chlorine level is decreased, meaning that we are unsinkable and our eyes don't itch.

Two nights a week are set aside for the gentlemen swimming. The ritual includes a few laps, followed by chatting about the English Premier League, the weather or the upcoming social events. These discussions can last anything from 5 to 10 minutes, before a second set of laps. After the gentlemen are finished in the pool, the discussion moves to the sauna. With a newly installed electrical heater and timer, the cramped room is the perect arena for up to 7 sweaty men to mull over the important questions in life.

Being an equal opportunity council, there are also a couple of hours, attributed to the ladies swimming. Young and old are encouraged to attend, which doubles as a fitness and important social gathering.

Tonight however, the pool is reserved for the 0-5 group from 5:30pm and for the 10-11 year olds from 6:30. The kids have access to range of aqua equipment from foam noodles, to floating mats and a midsized single kayak. The parents share the responsiblity of keeping an eye on the kids on a rotating roster basis and all have an undertaken a basic CPR course.

 

Monday 22 October 2012

Day:296, Words:296

As the first layer of snow fell on the town, it was time for the residents to finally change their car tyres from the summer to the winter edition. For the average family with two cars, changing 16 tyres every year can have its moments. The back wheels on the Toyota came off and and were replaced like a dream. The front wheels were a different story. Three of the nuts on each wheel refused to budge, despite twisting them, oiling them and swearing at them. After an hour and 15 minutes, I threw in the towel and threw the tools in the garage. It was going to be a slippery drive to work tomorrow.

The snow and the oncoming colder temperatures is also causing concern for the growing gypsy, or rather the romani population in northern Norway. The economic crisis that had infected much of Europe has seen an increase in people travelling to Norway, living on the streets, in shopping centre car parks and other makeshift shelters. Resorting to begging in order to survive, the visitors have not been made unanimously welcome by the locals. Many have experienced less than friendly instructions telling them to go home. Ironically, this is where they want to go, considering the temperatures, although they do not have the funds. They have announced publicly via the media outlets that they require financial assistance to return home to eastern Europe.

The money counting committee for the weekend flea market announced that the takings were just under 40,000 kroner, an incredible achievement for such a small community. It is a testement to the good people of Øksfjord that the year 10s and the parents have been able to raise enough money each year to fund an international tour, most commonly London.

 

 

Sunday 21 October 2012

Day:295, Words:295

Please excuse me while I continue my description of yesterday's massive flea market in the town hall. At 1pm, it was time for the auction of all the 'big money items'. Each year, around a dozen or so special things are chosen to be auctioned off in front of a cashed up crowd. I had my eye on a telescope, that I hoped would prove to be sold at a bargain price. The bidding started and I was the first to raise my hand at 100 kroner, then the bids came quickly at 150, 200 and 300. I re-entered the bidding war at 350 kroner, before the neighbours sent the price out of my allowable range. Lego was auctioned off and snapped up by the pleased shop manager, a good quality lounge set was purchased for the teacher's room at the school and a year 10 boy was ecstatic at securing two massive leather brown chairs at the crazy price of 100 kroner. His mother appeared less excited!

Once the auction was over, the public was encouraged to fill plastic bags for 10 kroner and take with them whatever they wished. After the last of shoppers had shuffled out and the cakes and coffee had been consumed, it was time to assess the damage.

Indeed a heap of stuff had been sold and the piles of kroner in the kitchen required its own counting commitee. Yet a glance at the tables indicated that there was going to be some tough decisions to be made. Eventually a group of men began to carry out the orphaned furniture, books, televisions and DVDs, dumping them into vans and trailors. It was a heartbreaking scene at the tip as perfectly good, yet totally unwanted items were hurled into oblivion.

 

Saturday 20 October 2012

Day:294, Words:294

Another huge day for the 600 odd Øksfjordians that reside in this hidden paradise. Notice how the word 'odd' can have a double meaning here and the readers can of course come to their own conclusions. Being the third Saturday of October, it was of course the annual flea market that drew the crowds to the town hall today. The market is the responsibility of the year 10 students and their parents and is one of the main fundraising opportunities ahead of the school trip to London next March.

From Thursday afternoon, parents had been driving around the village collecting a whole range of items. Bags of toys and clothes were trucked in, unwanted furniture was transported and unused prams were wheeled in to be categorized. On Friday evening, the flea market group met to discuss the strategies required to sell most and be left with least possible unwanted items come 2pm on Saturday.

The master of ceremonies counted down until officially opening the doors at 10 am. It wasn't quite a Boxing Day sales rush, but there was an eager, steely eyed group that pushed through to the front in search of the best bargains.

There were tables full of the weird and wonderful bits and pieces that had been clogging up peoples garages, lofts and lounge rooms. Christmas decorations, ash trays, vases, glasses, tea sets, money boxes and large ceramic chickens were scooped up at prices, less than a Magnum ice cream. There were board games, fluffy stuffed animals, treadmills, books, skiis, skates and rowing machines. Clothes were taken at 30 kroner a bag and lamps were given away at next to nothing. The amount of junk, sorry, transferred treasures, was insane. Where on earth had they been hiding all of this?

 

Friday 19 October 2012

Day:293, Words:293

The day had arrived. One of the biggest days on the Øksfjord calendar. The young children woke up and realised what day it was and rushed through their breakfast. Today is 'Teddy bear hospital day'. That's right, the kindergarten kids got to take their special friends to the health centre to be treated by nurses and physios. The youngens get to know how things work in health centres and hospitals, making them a little less scary, should they ever visit. The sore teddies were presented one by one. The symptoms were varied. Some teddies had ear infections, others had eye problems. Some had multiple seemingly unrelated symptoms ranging from broken arms to sore toes to severe headaches. All received top quality care and were sent home to rest, bandaged and feeling much better.

The enjoyment didn't stop there for the youngest residents of Øksfjord. In the late afternoon, the first white flakes floated down from the darkened sky. The autumn season had been a long one, some arguing that it began in June, after a week of spring. The fall continued through the night, a typical combination of thick rain and soggy snow. As soon as it was hitting the road or verandah, it was disappearing, although as the hours passed, a thin layer of slippery snow was forming on the outdoor surfaces. Of course it won't last. The pattern of snow, melting, rain and more snow will continue on for a few weeks, maybe even until Christmas time, like last year. One thing is for certain though, nobody needs to panic about the thought of a depressingly dark, snowless winter. It will come and there will be enough, sleding, skiing, snowman building and shovelling until we are sick of the damn stuff.

 

Thursday 18 October 2012

Day:292, Words:292

One of the weird things happening these days is the public announcements of every person's tax payments, income and total wealth. As part of Norway's money transperency policy, the details of the most wealthy are reported in the newspapers, while everyone else's financial details are on the internet for all to see.

The biggest suprise this year is that the man with the biggest income in Norway is the owner of a salmon fish farming business, located just an hour down the road in a town about the same size as Øksfjord. 'Jokkelfjord laks' is a multi million doller business that exports salmon all over the country and internationally. The owner recently sold his shares making him the richest man in Norway this year. When reporters visited him in the supermarket in Burfjord, he was not dressed in a tailor made Armani suit, nor was his private helicopter parked nearby. Mr Hansen lives as he has always done in his humble home, drinks black coffee and chats to the neighbours about the weather. There are many such millioners in Norway, who do not have to worry about money again, although their lives continue as they always have, unaffected and untainted by the wealth.

Speaking of money, a meeting has been advertised next week for all interested in taking over the kiosk. There has been little interest so far, since it was announced that the three new owners would divide the shop into office space, while also looking for someone to take over the management of the down scaled shop. The notice warned that if no one showed any interest soon, the kiosk would close and the space would be leased out to other businesses.

This would mean 'No soup for you Øksfjord!'

 

Wednesday 17 October 2012

Day:291, Words:291

The Nordlys newspaper, which covers the northern part of the country reported on one of Øksfjord's favourite sons. Magnus Andersen, born and bred in Øksfjord is a professional footballer for the Tromsø football club. The newspaper's journalists and photographers visited Vassdalen yesterday afternoon to capture the 'Magnus Andersen fever' that is engulfing the small village. The reason for the sudden interest is that Tromsø, the closest top flight team to Øksfjord has reached the Cup final to be played in a few weeks time in Oslo.

It is the biggest day in the Norwegian football season and for Øksfjord this year, the interest will have an extra meaning.

There has already been suggestions for the council to organise for the game to be shown on the big screen at the town hall, where Øksfjordians could assemble as a flock of red and white supporters, cheering for Magnus and the local team that lies over 400 kilometres away.

Dozens of young football players, kitted out in their Øksjord team jackets assembled at the football ground for the photo to be taken, although many argued that it should have taken place at the school's cramped football outdoor areas or within the mini gymnasium, where many of Øksfjord's greatest have tuned their quick passing skills and mental toughness. The three on three competition, using two thin blocks of wood as the goals, require lightning feet, quick thinking and a creativity that those in a more open arena do not require. Magnus Andersen left Øksfjord for Alta and his talent was eventually recognised by Tromsø shortly and after a period of finding his place in the team, he has become a stable and valuable component of one of the best teams in Norway.

Good luck!



 

Tuesday 16 October 2012

Day:290, Words:290

Those travelling south on the 'Hurtigruten' boat drew the short straw today. Of the fleet of 12, there is one ship that resembles more of a floating tin shed than a popular tourist cruise liner.

Some call the Lofoten boat charming and representative of past years when the voyage was a romantic journey over the oceans of the north. Others curse when they check the timetable and discover that their trip will be aboard the oldest vessel in the fleet. While the difference between newest addition and the grandfather of the Hurtigruten family is as large as the difference between Manchester United and Melbourne Victory, the price of the voyage is exactly the same. It would be like being squeezed into half a seat between two Japanese sumo wrestlers on a flight from Sydney to London, while your brother, having paid the same price, relaxes up at pointy end of the aircraft in a fold down sofa bed, sipping on Moet and choosing his meal from the a la carte menu.

The Lofoten boat is charming for twenty minutes or so and there are a select few that purposesly book a five day tour, in search of that romantic, Orient Express type of experience. It was built in 1964 and holds a total of 340 passengers. The 'Lofoten' remains the only boat in the fleet that doesn't take cars on board, which to many is a big minus. The fact remains, it is a cold, old boat with no toilets or showers in the room and definitely not enough room to swing a cat. A boat of a similar vintage was recently retired and it's time that the poor old 'Lofoten' is finally allowed to finish up with some dignity.

 

Monday 15 October 2012

Day:289, Words:289

The mountains are starting to resemble a chocolate cake that has been sprinkled with icing sugar. Everywhere you look, the snow is gradually increasing its cover, sneaking down to our level. There were smiles in the northern village today as the rumour started to take shape that the streets of Oslo had received a proper costing of the white stuff. For the Northerners, the springtime is usually highlighted by gloating southerners who are enjoying outdoor beers in a park covered in green grass and daffodils, rather than a metre and a half of old dirty snow. Today the boot was on the other foot as Øksfjordians flop about in their casual autumn footwear.

The rosters have been distributed for the afternoon swimming programs. Parents are responsible for the supervision of the various groups of kids as they begin the months of indoor activities.

It's time to take a look at the shady happenings of the crime ridden town of Alta. On Saturday evening, a man in his 20s was arrested for urinating in the centre, while his companion was taken in for public disturbance issues. In a separate incident, a gentleman of a similar age was caught by police in possession of narcotics. Three international visitors managed to tip their car on its roof in an accident in a 80 km/hour zone. The police reported that there was no evidence of either speeding or drink driving. The car in question had Russian number plates.

A private house in Alta has been terroised by youths who have repeatedly banged on doors and shone lights in through the windows. The latest episode occurred at 7pm on Saturday night and the police were called. The residents were said to be extremely annoyed!

 

 

Sunday 14 October 2012

Day:288, Words:288

After experiencing the world's coolest swimming pool, it was dinner at a Mexican eatery, located downstairs in a basement adjoining a strip club. After fending off questions from the kids about the pole in the middle of the dance floor, we consumed our Finnish burritos and headed off to the Finnish bowling hall.

There were more disco laser lights and more strange Finnish rules. The kids had the gutter rails up to increase the entertainment level. The adults were told that their balls would damage the rails, so they were not allowed to play. For the first time in a bowling alley, I witnessed the use of the new foul line technology. As the seven year olds began to celebrate their maiden strikes, the screen showed a grumpy cartoon character explaining that that the child had stepped over the line and that as a result, his strike would be annulled and be scored a big fat zero.

The bus trip home was a tired and sorrowful affair. We had enjoyed our weekend in Finland. We had endured our hotel, which seemed to be almost soley catering to the over 75 year old age group. The piano accordian trio was cute during the evening buffet but when they returned to give a three hour breakfast encore, the enjoyment had waned. The buffet was itself was meat heavy, the drinks were served from a trolley, 1982 style and the dessert was something called 'bread cheese'.

The coach stopped for the traditional stock up of cheap beer and cigarettes, before the long trek back over the border.

Finland was exactly how we would expect it to be, clean, ingenious and slightly odd. Thanks for having us. See you in the winter!



 

Saturday 13 October 2012

Day:287, Words:287

The hotel where we are so fortunate to stay is called the spa hotel which is part of an entire complex that houses a bowling alley, a 'dancing' restaurant, a day spa, a kids playroom and the world's coolest swimming pool. I don't quite know where to begin. Let's start with the rules. In big bold writing and accompanied by diagrams, the signs are clear - No shorts! As mentioned previously, the Finns have a strange aversion to the common boardshort. They claim it is to do with hygiene, although I personally believe it is just a way of getting everyone into their 'budgie smuglers'.

The less clothing the better it seems, as the signs outside of the saunas forbid all swimming attire and towels, leaving little to the imagination. Once through the bathing costume customs area, the quality of the Finnish swimming pool shone through. Being a guest at the hotel, we received a watch type scanning device that allowed us one free visit per day. This gadget was also used to open and close lockers and operate the showers. You could also charge food and beverages to your room at the poolside bar.

There were several rooms and hidden alcoves that catered to the needs of both the big and the small. There were water cannons in the kiddies area, a super fast slide for the teenagers and warm relaxing pools bathed in purple and blue lights for the parents. There were freezing dip pools, whirlpools, indoor spas, outdoor spas, rockpools. There was fake snow falling from the roof, holograms of scary sharks chasing terrified bathers around the pool, lazer light shows and occassional booming sound effects.

It was a Finnish attack on the senses.

 

Friday 12 October 2012

Day:286, Words:286

Finland, Finland, Finland, is the country where I like to be eating breakfast and dinner, and watching TV...as sung by Monty Python crew in the 1970s. It is a perculiar country, even to the Norwegians who only have to travel a couple of hours to get to the border. The language is totally removed from the Scandinavian group and even the written form full of L's and K's, looks impossible to pronunce.

Today the family traveled to Levi, Finland as part of the diabetes association get together. We are familiar with Levi in the early months of the year, where we strap on skis and snowboards and mingle with the rest of the snowbunnies from all over Europe.

Before meeting the bus in Alta, the beagle needed to be checked in at the nearby dog hotel. It all looked quite cosy, the oldest resident german shepard welcoming the newcomers with a sniffy greeting. The beagle was shown to his bedroom for the weekend and it was time to meet the group.

In the late autumn and prior to the white stuff, Levi was an eerie ghost town kind of atmosphere. The skil lifts were there, still and free of teenagers shoving their way past the queues. A lake sat at the bottom of the main hill, made invisible in the winter as it is frozen and covered in thick snow and four year olds on plastic sleds. The Russians that are so prevalent in their fluro orange and pink attire in March are notably absent in October. The chuckle of drunk Englishmen is also missing as was the open restaurants catering to our culinarily starved needs. Oh Levi, what are we to do with you now?

 

Thursday 11 October 2012

Day:285, Words:285

A cold Thursday swept the village today. The temperature hovered around the one to two degrees mark early in the morning. It reminds us all to keep the long johns close, the puffy jackets within reach and the gloves in the glove box. Does anyone really keep their gloves in the glove box?

It is the chimney cleaning season once again. Every couple of years, all house owners are required to have their chimney swept. Wood fires are a normal part of life up here and essential for those colder periods during the winter. Sometimes the effective wall heaters and the magnificent Norwegian insulation is not enough to warm the wintery soul. The crackle of the burning firewood adds a cosy atmosphere and an intense warmth that electricity cannot match. If the power cuts out, as it does during the icy storms, the logs stacked neatly against the garage wall can be the saviour.

The chimney cleaning dudes perform a balancing act on the slippery roofs, weilding their tools. The job is important. A chimney that has been negleted is a potential deathtrap. A big cheer to all the chimney sweeps out there!

The invitations have been sent out for the annual Øksfjord sports club party. It is one of the major events of the year. The big bash will happen at the Town Hall, where all of the exciting events take place these days. I wouldn't say that the occassion will be an intimate affair with a few close friends for a few quiet drinks, if you get my drift. There won't be any saw dust on the floor, but by the end of the night, the cleaning committee will surely wish there was.





Wednesday 10 October 2012

Day:284, Words:284

A lot of the talk around the water coolers was about the new Norwegian television sensation to hit the screen. I use the word sensation based on the fact that 400,000 tuned in for the premier of 'Hellfjord' last night. I wonder how many will tune in next week? The show is set in northern Norway and is basically a parody on the conditions and the type of people that live up here. From the discussions today, most thought it was slightly amusing but continued viewing will require a unique sense of humor. The cliches are there to be played with and the fact that the main character is a policeman from Oslo, who is sent to the north is reason enough to push the steretypes quite far. What is funny though for a three minute skit, might prove tiresome over an entire season.

It's good to see some teamwork amongst the competing food businesses in Øksfjord. While shopping at the supermarket, I was suprised to be handed plastic bags with a massive logo from the kiosk on them. It's a bit like buying a six pack of Coke and being given a large Pepsi bag to carry them in. Imagine purchasing a Ferrari and putting one of those silly Toyota car covers on it or sticking a piece of Ken Done art in the Picasso museum. It would just be weird.

The boss of the Alta airport has warned that if the runway is not extended by another 200 metres, it will have a direct impact on the air traffic and ultimately the passengers. The additional tarmac will cost a cool 290 million kroner. Are the planes today really running out of road?


 

Tuesday 9 October 2012

Day:283, Words:283

The swimming pool is good to go. After being closed for the summer, there were the inevitable delays associated with getting the temperature up to a comfortable level and the chlorine levels down to a non life threatening level. For a facility that is shared and enjoyed by all from ages 2 to 102, it is tricky to find the conditions that suit everyone. The result is a pool with more salt, less chlorine and a temperature that sits well with toddlers splashing and pensioners wading.

The good old debate continues in the Alta newspaper. Should there be a hospital in Alta? The town is the largest and the fastest growing in Finnmark. The population of Alta is over 20,000 compared to Hammerfest's 9000, where the only hospital of West Finnmark is situated. The debate has raged through the newspapers and over the social networks for years now. The politics have started to get ugly and the lines between allies and enemies have begun to blur.

I couldn't help notice the junk mail has begun to have a wintery feel to it. A 16 page advertisment from one of the major sport retailers is full of woolen underwear and puffy jackets. The price of warm underwear ranges from around 100 to 250 kroner. There are socks for 80 kroner and gloves for 500. The hiking shoes vary greatly in price, from 300 to a whopping 2100 kroner. The jackets start at 1000 kroner, while quality warmth and comfort will cost you 3000 kroner. In other shops, jackets with a similar style but a different brand name can cost the purchaser up to 7000 big ones. My first three cars cost less than that.





 

Monday 8 October 2012

Day:282, Words:282

There is much talk about town of what people are doing with their berries. The extended autumn conditions have prolonged the berry season, which equates to larger quantities of jam, cordial and cream being produced. There is debate whether to use egg white or not when making tyttebær cream. We are still unsure whether the correct English translation is cowberry, loganberry or low bush cranberry.

Otherwise, it was a slow start for many, being the first Monday after the week long break. The library was full of life in the afternoon. Wednesday is World Mental Health Day and the library provided a quiz, some written information and of course waffels and coffee to mark the occassion.

There are notably a few Øksfjordians with more color than the rest of us. They are part of the latest group to use the autumn break as an opportunity to feel the warmth of the sun in more southern districts such as Crete, Spain and Turkey. There was even some relief amongst the travellers as the temperatures in the areas that Økfjordians simply refer to as 'The South', rose to unusually high levels. There are others who have booked their tickets to 'The South' for the Christmas period. It is not uncommon for families to spend every second December shovelling sand instead of snow. There are some, however who have tried to celebrate the festive season in shorts but who have unable to replace the Christmasy feeling that comes with a real tree, constant darkness and wood heated houses.

For those of us from the southern hemisphere, the idea of a Christmas without a bbq, cricket in the backyard and cold drinks is hard to swallow.


 

Sunday 7 October 2012

Day:281, Words:281

Øksfjord was drenched today in the driving autumn rain. The strong cold wind and the icy rain hinted that the first snowfall cannot be too far away. The trees are now all but bare and by 6pm the darkness has set in.

A year 7 class from Alta has written a letter of thanks following their four day trip to Nuvsvåg, across the fjord. It is fun to see the 'big city' kids enjoy the great outdoors. They were treated to a fishing tour and a hike up to the glacier. The kids and teachers stayed in the now empty Nuvsvåg school and were joined by the four remaining Nuvsvåg students who are now home schooled.

After a day spent mostly indoors, many Øksfjordians would have settled in front of the telly. One of the popular Sunday programs is 'Alt for Norge', which is one of the better reality shows that follows a group of Americans with Norwegian ancestors. The Americans travel around Norway, learning the language and culture through a variety of competitions. Tonight the contestants were in northern Norway and their initial perceptions were similar to my own. It was obviously filmed in summer and the yanks could not get over the midnight sun. They adored the scenery, the fresh air and the cute houses. To say that they were impressed is an understatement.

There was a small interruption during the evening. It appears that the notorious group of knick knockers have made their way to Vassdalen. Strange scratching sounds on the window was followed by running feet noises and laughter. They huddled around the corner before deciding on the next victim.

It takes me back to my youth!!