Day:330, words:330

The snow has taken a break and the town was able to get on with the important things in life like making gingerbread men. The Christmas preparation period is in full swing in the week before advent kicks off. Kitchens all over the village were filled with the essential incredients of flour, ginger and plenty of syrup and sugar. In some families the baking of gingerbread men is done in combination with the constuction of the kids advent calenders. From December 1, children of Øksfjord can open a small gift everyday in the lead up to the glut of presents they will receive on Christmas Eve. The daily suprises can range from chocolates to money to toys to gingerbread cookies.

The idea of such a massive lead up to Christmas has to do with darkness that engulfs the northern parts during this time of year. The extravagant lighting along verandahs and inside the cosy homes, helps to raise the spirits in a difficult time for many. The tiredness is widespread as the sun has now dipped the horizon, not to return until the start of February. The difficulty in waking up for work can be likened to being held prisoner in a Mexican jail, while being forced to listen to the very best of Justin Beiber volumes one and two and a Sarah Palin policy speech.

After the initial crawling up the stairs to pour a large amount of caffine down the throat, the day progresses quite well until around 2pm where the sudden wall of exhaustion bears down upon the working public. Dinner is an early affair in northern Norway at between 4 and 5pm and probably just as well as the new injection of energy is well received. Afternoon activities include judo, football, yoga, aerobics, swimming, arts and craft and choir practice. A common annoyance is resurgence of alertness and energy when we should really be thinking about bedtime. This ensures the continuation of the dreaded cycle tomorrow.

 

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Day: 329, words:329

Oh the weather outside is frightful. But the fire is so delightful. And since we've no place to go. Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!!

Obviously Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra and Micheal Buble had never visited the fjords in northern Norway and if they did, they would surely be singing make it stop, make it stop, make it stop. Having just finished a marathon shovelling session, the love of the white stuff is waning.

Tottenham football club is due to fly into these parts in a few days to face Tromsø in a UEFA cup tie and the players can expect to be playing on a white pitch with an orange ball. There have been quiet whispers of the dreaded 97 winter, which coincidentally was the last time a London club was in Tromsø. On that particular occassion, it flopped down, bringing visability to a minimum, allowing the lowly Tromsø team to defeat reigning FA cup champions Chelsea 3-2. After witnessing 90 minutes of the orange ball being ploughed through the snow, occassionally being squeezed into the net, the losing manager Ruud Gullit pronounced "This is not football". The match remains an historic highlight in the town known as 'The Paris of the North'. With similar conditions being predicted for Thursday evening, let's hope the result is the same.

The conditions have become a massive inconvenience for dozens of travellers trying to reach their destinations. Closed roads, mountain passes, airports and cancelled boats have forced many to remain in limbo, forced to find emergency accommodation or even camp out in the local waiting area outside of the closed kiosk. Students have been unable to return to their studies and doctors have been stranded after been flown around the country in search of a safe airport to land at. But as the saying goes...'we know where we live'. So there really is nothing else to do but get properly dressed, gravel your shovel and get to work.

 

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Day: 328, words: 328

Well the saga continues. The tunnel that was built a couple of decades ago to provide a safer road both into and out of Øksfjord has been under continuous fixing projects since 2009. The one lane, dark, damp and icy stretch of road that lasts for over four kilometres has been closed since the summer. The council opened the previously closed coastal road with the assurance that the improved tunnel would be re opened for business before the heavy snowfalls arrived along with the avalanche warning season. Well, as most 4 year olds know, late November in northern Norway brings lots of snow. It has done so for a thousand years and will continue to do so for the next thousand or so.

The tunnel remains closed as more bucket loads of dough has been poured into a project that has proven to be as effective as an inflatable dartboard. The seasonal snow has resulted in avalanche warnings and unsafe roads. So now, the road that was so dangerous in winter that a tunnel needed to be built to provide a safer route, is closed. The tunnel that was to provide the safer route, is also closed. Locals have debated in depth as to which route is indeed the most dangerous as anyone who has braved the tunnel journey could attest to. It looks as though for the time being that the Christmas shopping pilgrimage to Alta will have to wait, unless other transport methods can be arranged. One generous, local business tycoon took it upon himself to transport stranded and frustrated locals from the other side of the tunnel to back home with the use of his spacious boat.

If it wasn't so damn frustrating, it would be amusing. The jokes about taking an entry fee and promoting the tunnel as some kind of scary theme park are beginning to wear thin. Perhaps a new sign should be erected...Welcome to Øksfjord, home of the country's worst tunnel!

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Day: 327, Words: 327

Well here we are again, one year ago exactly since the bloggate episode that caused a sudden halt to the project due to a technical nightmare. The daily updates from the northern paradise stopped short, just 39 days shy of the new year. Well it's late November now. It's dark, it's full of snow and the town is in the last stages of a countdown before the Pre-Christmas crazy period begins. The year in this magical village has produced a glut of controversies due partly to political madness and questionable leadership. There have been some notable moves from families to larger pastures, while others have newly settled into Øksfjord, awaiting new challenges and fresh opportunities.

The football season has finished with at least one group of boys enjoying an end of year gathering at a winter cabin. After a long journey, trudging through knee high snow, the lads relaxed with some time in the sweltering log fired sauna followed briskly by a 20 second dip in the newly dug ice bath on the edge of the frozen lake. Severe winds have battered the Norwegian coastline in recent days and emergency warnings were also issued to the vulnerable Øksfjord. However as nearby Hammerfest and Alta witnessed angry storms, the smug residents of Øksfjord boasted of life within the often reffered to as the 'corridor of good weather'.

Meanwhile along with death and taxes, some things remain constant, the state of the Øksfjord tunnel for example. For those who are unfamiliar with the saga, the tunnel was built some twenty years ago as a safe alternative to the avalanche prone road along the fjord. A one lane tunnel, with poor lighting, dripping celings and dangerous ice humps throughout the 4 kilometre long disaster waiting to happen. Since 2009, this embarrasing landmark has been patched, prodded, repaired, analysed and renovated. The result of this work is a closed tunnel, a multi billion kroner bill and a bunch of peeved residents.

 

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Wild weather

The summer was memorable, the autumn had been kind, but winter has arrived, expected yet unannounced, blowing in with his hail, his sleet, his threats of snowage. He has brought along a friend, the darkness.........

July Dribble

Good Afternoon. 

It's time to jump back on the writing horse without so much to say. After the disappointment of last year's summer falling on one fine Wednesday, Øksfjord has been scorched by an unseasonal run of May and June warmth that has sent locals scurrying to their iproducts to share a glut of ocean bathing pics to relatives in Southern Norway, who were shivering in disgust of their late start to summer. Meanwhile our own family endured a wonderful, if slightly overcast and rainy holiday in the west of England, only to return to a more traditional lush and drizzly Øksfjord.....

March madness

The lightening fast 2013 has trickled over to April, and the village on the fjord is kept in good company by early evening sunlight and an astonishing amount of snow. The year 10s have returned from London and Easter has come and gone with an assortment of snow mobile violations, fatal avalanches and buckets of chocolate and sweet stuff.

The scene is set for curious newcomer Simon to make his mark on the sheets of the Øksfjord history books. The unfortunate dealings of Simon begin with the fact that his name is pronounced by the local folk in a manner that rhymes less with "Lime on" and more with "Tea men"

Yes, Simon Walker is certainly going to have an impact on this tiny town.


Stay tuned!!



 

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Jan 2013

Hi all, apologies for the sudden halt to the blog in November. Let me explain. I was sitting in my writing chair, composing an entertaining anecdote for November 22nd when I heard a strange beeping sound from outside. I peered out behind the curtain and saw a massive spacecraft parked in our front yard. I went out to investigate and was promptly abducted. Unfortunately my recollections of the events within the spacecraft appear to have been erased so I am unable to offer any interesting details.

As for the new year, I will continue to write in a variety of formats, including starting on a novel of sorts based on the surroundings and the characters of our wonderfully bizzare little village called Øksfjord.

Enjoy!

 

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Day:326, Words:326

The slipperyness rolls on and the health centre is up to its eyeballs in injured residents. Another reason to fall over is the recent arrival of a newsletter from our friendly electrician company. Let me set the scene. There are no electricians in Øksfjord but from time to time, there are companies, from Alta or Tromsø that are employed in larger jobs within the village. The locals might spot the company van and if they have an electrical problem, they might give them a call. If there is an electrical job, the cost of getting a qualified electrician from Alta is large, to say the least. Seeing that they were already in the area, the locals have been calling, assuming that the company might appreciate the opportunity to earn some extra cash. The advantage is that as the company is stationed in Øksfjord from Mondays to Fridays while on another job, the cost of transport should be saved.

Imagine the shock on the faces of the locals when they receive the bill that includes added costs for transport from Alta, even when they were stationed in Øksford. Aware of the outrage, Nordlys Elektro decided to write a letter in order to clear the air. They failed in their attempt. This is what they wrote

'We have rearranged our system to make it easier for people in Øksfjord to understand our bills. From December 10, the costs of driving back and forth from Øksfjord, house rental, and food will be included in the hourly rate. We will continue to have two workers living in Øksfjord from Monday to Friday on a permanent basis. The new hourly rate will be 1,140 kroner compared to the previous price of 794 kroner. Now, I'm no accountant, but if the electricians were attending a job in Alta, wouldn't they also require food? As for the transport costs, how much does it cost to travel once on Monday and once on Friday?

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Day:325, Words:325

The slippery period continues and there is no end in sight. The temperature is not high enough to melt the ice and the town is in desparate need of some snow to cover up the dangerous surfaces. The council trucks have been busy, dumping loose gravel along the roads, giving the vehicles an opportunity to make it up to the top of the hills. Some of the residents have been taking matters into their own hands, purchasing their own bags of small stonage and scattering the contents on the driveways and outside the entrances to their homes.

The whole town looks drunk as the residents continue to shuffle like toddlers, trying to stay upright on the way to their destination.

Øksfjord is home to one smallish supermarket and a hardware store and the range of stock in these two shopping alternatives does not provide the best opportunity for the purchase of Christmas gifts. The nearest shopping centre is a two hour drive on the icy, slippery road and most Øksfjordians make at least one trip during the silly season but the craze of online shopping is taking off here. There is a large range of online stores and the locals are starting to aknowledge the advantages.

Of course, the internet purchasing experience will not provide a four hour journey, the fun of parking, the glorious sounds of tired kids, the joy of standing in a queue or the bliss of being ignored by grumpy teenage shop attendents but it does have its good points. The main one is price.

The average shopper can save thousands of kroner by visiting the www.nochristmasshoppingstress type websites. Norwegians do make a big deal about the festive season and attack it with full enthusiasm. Christmas present shopping is a very important task. It is imperative that the gifts find their way under the tree by the 24th. The internet shopping experience promises promt delivery between 5 and 7 working days.

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Day:324, Words:324

It was a sleeplness night for many Øksfjordians as the SAS airline situation shuffled through several deadlines without being solved. Apart from myself, there were many keeping a close eye on the online news, as their Christmas plans, weekend getaways and extended holidays lay in the balance, dependent on governments, unions and banks to come to a mutual compromise.





The year 10s had booked their trip in March, reliant on SAS to take them there. Others had booked holidays over Christmas to warmer parts such as Thailand and The Canary Islands. Through the day, the questions were being asked about the possibilities of regaining any of the funds that were likely to be lost should the company go under.




Finally in the late afternoon, the news came through that the final unions had achieved a deal that would see the workers with less pay, more work but with their jobs intact and their airplanes in the sky.




With the SAS crisis over, the relieved Øksfjordians were able to concentrate on other things...like walking. The conditions on the roads and the footpaths reached an absolute low. Many pedestrians felt the pain, literally, as they slipped, fell and plunged like slapstick comedians of the 1930s. All ages had their spills and some were taken to the health centre, rendered out of action as a result of sprains or breaks.




The cars also struggled up the icy hills and some of the drivers had to abandon their journeys in the driveways of their homes, unable to escape the frictionless ice carpets. Being attentive to the snowfalls is no sort of a solution. The neighbour who is out with the shovels as the snow falls has a wonderfully clean looking and also extremely dangerous driveway. I imagine that they simply take one step out of the front door and glide to the letterbox before some sort of pulley system delivers them back to the safety of the house.

 

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Day:323, Words:323

You may recall the days of frustration I endured a few months ago when trying to book the cheapest, most direct and safest flights from Alta, Norway to Melbourne Australia. The journey is long and the exercise in making everything connect, why securing enough waiting time but not too much waiting time between flights is a tough gig. When I had finally found the perfect combination, the website would inform me that those tickets at that price was not actually available. Anyway after much angst, I finally locked in the tickets at a less than fanstastic price, but not obscene. At that point, I thought the flight searching was behind me....until today.

It turns out that the oldest, most realiable and seemingly most stable Scandinavian airline is in deep excrement. Despite a massive company being run in three of the most stable economies, SAS airlines is in big trouble and at this stage likely to go broke which would mean a sudden halt to all services. At the moment, there is a stand off between the unions of the Norwegian, Danish and Swedish divisions of SAS and the owners, who need to prove to the banks that they can pay their debts. The way to pay their debts is to start making a profit and for that happen costs need to be cut. Reduced wages and increased hours is on the table with the other posibility being the loss of many if not all jobs. The governments have already bailed out SAS once before and at the moment the immediate future looks bleak and very short.

As my entire journey, depends on the SAS company getting me to Copenhagen, I began frantically look into a contingency plan. At best, I would lose over 8000 kr, but secure a flight on SAS competitor Norwegian Air. The worst case scenario would see the holiday start with a tiresome train ride, or an incredibly long drive.

 

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Day:322, Words:322

From all reports, the Friday night drink experiment went fairly well last night. The small venue was packed and a pleasant social drinking atmosphere was enjoyed by all in attendance. Hopefully, the word catches on that a social drink can be enjoyed by friends and collegues without the need to end up destroying yourself with vodka shots.

Our beagle escaped again today. As the reindeers have now moved inland for the winter, it is safe to let him loose for a little run. Of course, our trusty and loyal dog caught on to a scent from another dog and was off like a shot, a sniffing machine all the way up the mountain following the tracks of a terrier on a hunting trip with his owner.

After a couple of hours, the new kanine friends returned down from the mountain together. According to the hunter, our beagle had been some sort of an apprentice, learning the tricks of the hunting trade as they sought out the grouse that live in the surrounding mountains.

As the beagle slept off his adventures, the rest of the family hit the local cafe for a coffee and a waffel. The 'Dattera til Larson' cafe was warm as toast once again, pretty good insulation for an old garage, that was once a sporting goods store. The venue is sure to get a good workout over the coming weeks as the Christmas party season gets underway. Most businesses around the country will organise some dort of festive get together before Christmas. These events are usually a traditional affair full of singing, presents and cognac.

Work is underway in the old Mix kiosk building. The post office has been reduced to a tiny corner of the shop and the opportunity to post or receive a package has been cut as the opening hours are just a small window in the afternoons and a couple of hours on Saturday morning.

 

 

 

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Day:321, Words:321

The primary school kids woke up slightly grumpy. Perhaps 'woke up' is not the right term as many of them never really fell asleep. From all accounts, the 1-4 classes had a fantastic night full of films, lolly consumption and late evening swimming. The teachers who were escorting them looked a little wrecked this morning. Going home each day at 4pm after a day supervising kids takes its toll. Being surrounded by them from 6pm until early the next morning and then attempting to teach, borders on cruelty for all concerned. It is surely only a matter of time before Amnesty International is involved.

The new local pub, 'Dattera til Larson' has begun a new tradition of after work drinks to be held once a month on the Friday after pay day. The Friday drinks phenomenon is rarely practised in Norway. Considering the prices of alcohol in this country, the exercise of a long afternoon/ evening with drinks would send many bankrupt. The drinking tradition in Øksfjord has always been a party at a designated house with casks of cheap wine and music, followed by a trip to the local bar at 1.30am. At the 3am closing time, those who remain standing, march on to a designated house for after party drinks, which can also kick on until 6 or 7 in the morning.

Tonight the social drinks started at the pub at the civilised and unusual time of 9 pm.

Those not at the drinks were in Alta getting a head start on the Christmas shopping. There appeared to be Øksfjordians everywhere you looked within the shopping centre. Not everyone is enthused about the prospect of shopping online and Alta is a slippery two hours drive from Øksfjord, so organisation is a must. It is of high importance that the Christmas gifts are delivered to the family and friends on time, which will keep the post office corner very busy.

 

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Day:320, Words:320

This Thursday is a big day for the young ones in the primary school. The occassion is the forut cafe, followed by the overnight experience, paradise for the kids, a world of pain for the teachers. The forut cafe is an indoor market organised by the kids themselves in order to raise money for children living in poverty in a small village in Malawi. All week, the school kids in Øksfjord has been looking at world maps and watching videos of kids of the same age, living a life that seems so alien to those sitting in cosy classrooms.


The coridors of the school had been constructed into a jungle theme with various animals hanging from the ceiling and some large trees stuck to the walls.

At 6pm the doors opened and the masses poured in. By masses, of course I am refering to the 20 odd parents who had begrudgingly spent a good part of their Thursday evening watching their children sing a couple of Africanish tunes, buying some puzzles and books and digging into the plethora of cakes, positioned next to the large thermoses filled to the brim with strong, hot, black Norwegian coffee.

The kids aged from 6 to 10 were in charge of manning the different sales stations. They were armed with a tray full of cash and a pen and paper. Øksfjordians are not likely to wait for their coffee, so as the swarm of parents attacked the coffee and cake queue, the small boys and girls behind the tables started to feel the stress. Most of the adults waited patiently as the children calculated the price of coffee and cake on their fingers and toes.

After the cake, the parents assisted their kidlets' bedding arrangements. Although only for one night, some of the matresses, doonas and pillows coming into the classroom looked as though the sultan of Brunei had moved in for three months.

 

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Day:319, Words:319

The school system in Øksfjord caters for students up to their final year of high school, before they begin their new lives with further studies in a specified field. After 10 years in a protected environment and a small school community, the 15 and 16 year olds need to travel elsewhere to continue their educational adventures. The majority move to Alta, two hours down the road from Mum and Dad, two hours away from warm dinners, washing machines and a fridge full of food.

For most, the move is an emotional journey away from the comforts of home and the initial months can be an anxious experience. This week the experience has turned into what might be described as farsical and upsetting.

The students who study in Alta, come from other parts of the county and use a good deal of money on student accommodation. Today, the students were told that they would have to immediately leave their accommodation and move into the gymnasium for an undisclosed amount of time.

Apparently, the building in which the students occupy contains asbestos and has done so for the past 47 years. So after four and a half decades, the kids were ordered to vacate their rooms within a day. The parents of the 48 students are obviously furious as the school principal does not appear to be taking any measures to accommodate the young teenagers adequately.

Obviously the gymnasium living situation is not ideal. How can the school leaders expect the kids to continue their studies as usual, while surviving in a camp style situation, without enough showers or the other necessary facilities that should be taken for granted.

Unsuprisingly, the principal has been bombarded with messages from frustrated and confused parents who are demanding that more is done to ensure that their children have a safe place to sleep at night.

Stay tuned for more information regarding this bizzare matter.

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Day:318, Words:318

Welcome to Tuesday of week 46. When I first moved to this weird and wonderful country, I was not too fussed about the obsession everyone had with the weeks of the year. We all know there are around 52 weeks in the calendar year, but the Norwegians have taken the concept of counting the weeks and developed an entire system out of it. Everything is planned by weeks. Weeks 7 and 8, James is on holidays, week 23 is the brocoli pie baking contest and week 36 is the toy wooden ship exhibition.

Week 46 is when the swimming pool is getting fixed. No one is quite sure what the problem is or who coming to fix it. The note on the door says that the pool is out of order, hopefully for just a couple of days. The primary school is having their overnight stay on Thursday and one of the highlights each year is the midnight swimming activities. Let's hope that all is in order by Thursday.

The newest addition to the Alta skyline and one of the most important architectual structures to be constructed north of the Arctic circle is to be part of a cost saving measure. The authorities have decided that the majestic looking and soon to be completed cathederal will not require any external lighting. This is all well and good to see a beautiful building in its natural light during the summer months when the sun does not dip below the horizon for more than two months. As the sun sets this week for the last time until early February, this building will not be seen. Apparently the 400,000 kroner lighting installation cost is part of the reason, but the genius men in charge of the project would also like to see how the completed building looks like in the street lights and ...wait for it, the light of the moon.

 

 

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Day:317, Words:317

Monday afternoons in Øksfjord are known for their range of activities. Well actually there are two. The ladies have their hour of exercise between 6.30 and 7.30 pm. The other option if you are not a female who likes to exercise in the gymnasium is the Øksfjord library, voted the best library in the county of Finnmark. The ladies at the cosy library happily organise coffee, tea and biscuits and are more than willing to order the newest films, books and cds if you ask politely. There is a large selection of English literature, as well as computer games, board games as well as a table stacked with colouring equipment for the smaller customers.

While a steady stream of people of all ages shuffle in, kicking off the snow from their boots and disgarding their winter jackets, up the hill, a bunch of ladies of all fitness levels are being put through their paces by the town physiotherapist. It provides an oppotunity to begin the drizzly, dark week with a spot of physical exhaustion as well as doubling as a social venue for the fairer sex.

It's amazing what ends up on page two of the local 'newspaper'. A film and television company that was established in 2008 in Alta, but was operated from Oslo, has ceased to be. The company, it is reported, never had an income. Is that the business equivalent of the philosophical statement 'if a tree falls and no one hears it, did it make a sound?'

It was a touch blowy at the airport yesterday. A gust of wind was so strong that it blew a SAS Boeing 737 sideways along the ice that covered the runway. The pilots made several unsuccessful attempts to park the jet at the gate, before giving up and changing direction, leaving the plane facing directly into the wind and allowing the passengers to embark and disembark.

 

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Day:316, Words:316

Sundays are a challenge during this time of year in Øksfjord. We are fortunate that the snow came with a sudden burst and it remained cold enough so that the option of skiing was available before the crazy Christmas season. The sun has left our fair village but if you look closely, you can briefly see yellow light touch the highest mountain peaks in the distance.

The closing of the kiosk was the final blow for kids who needed a Sunday afternoon hang out joint or a Sunday afternoon giant can of energy drink. The kiosk also provided the rare opportunity for Øksfjordians to get their fast food fix. Given that the nearest McDonalds is in Russia, the hamburgers, chips and nuggets from the Mix kiosk was an offer that the Øksfjordians at least had at their disposal on a slow Sunday arvo.

The streets are now filled with bored teenagers, wandering like lost souls, resorting to writing 'wash me' on the cars' dirty windshields. There is however a Norwegian variation on this activity. When there is fresh snow, a few talented youngters like to use their creative talents in producing a type of car window graffiti that can bring a smile to your face.

Although there might be appear to be little to do, the kids are creative. The initial snowfalls in late October have become large clumps of dirty snow that the snow ploughs had shoved to the end of the road. Today a team of boys from ages 4 to 10 were furiously digging with shovels in order to make a mini village of snow caves. Dressed in the compulsory fluorescent orange, green and yellow vests, the child workers kept on for several hours, moulding and sculpturing their icy dwellings . By the afternoon, long after the twilight had faded, the diligent lads had constructed the Øksfjord kid equivalent to the Taj Mahal.

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Day:315, Words:315

This fine Saturday in our quaint little town on the fjord brings the annual Christmas market to the town hall. Each year, a few tables are filled with mostly hand knitted goodies. The most popular item appears to be the thick woolen socks that sell for between 100 and 250 kroner, depending on the complexity of the patterns and the thickness of the wool. The other items that were popular included the festival woolen mitten. Confused? Well the mitten has a cup shape and the end of it, allowing the hand to be kept cosy while holding a can of something during those often chilly summer music festivals. The other item that caught my eye was the knitted wine cask bag holder in the shape of a chicken. This will come in handy during those B.Y.O events at the town hall.

The mild weather has ended and the chill has come into play. When it rains, the snows turns a bit mushy and when the temperature drops, the mush becomes a dangerous layer of slipperyness that will attack vulnerable pedestrians.

The conditions make supreme athletes look like toddlers trying to make the journey from one chair to the other without hitting the deck. Each day there are seemingly medial tasks that, as a result of the ice, become Everesteque challenges. Collecting the mail from the letterbox should be a standard, pain free event, yet today it was not. There is a slight incline between the car door and the letterbox. I must have looked an absolute idiot, or drunk or both as I moved my arms in a panicked windmill motion in an attempt to reach the neighbours driveway. Once there, I stood only metres from my goal, although there was a skating rink blocking my path. I decided to use the lunge technique only to perform an unrehearsed backward inward pike into the ice.

 

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Day:314, Words:314

It was gentlemen night in the gymnasium last night. The image creeping into your head might be men in tuxedos, smoking cigars and being served top shelf congnac by girls in skimpy outfits, I am however refering to the Thursday evening ritual of 3 on 3 football. The weekly event is entering its 26th year and those that were part of the original crew are no longer spring chickens. Prior to kick off, a meeting was called to address some concerns. It felt a bit like the start of Fight Club as our fearless leader started to outline the rules, as outlayed on the original roll of parchment all those years ago.

Apparently there had been some players that have attacked the game with an exagerrated enthusiasm. In a confined space with solid cement walls, the occassional shove of an opponent as he sprinted full pace towards the wooden block of wood that serves as the goal, is part of the game. We were instructed to tone it down a little as the theme of these evenings was about a social kick about with friends and collegues, ranging from mid 30s to early 60s in age. Another point that was taken up was the sportmanship when defending the goal area. As the wooden block itself is only about 30cm high and 10cm thick, the temptation to park ample frames in front is too much for some. Luckily, a semi circle about half a metre from the wall provides a suitable border in which the bodies of defenders are not permitted to cross.

In other news, a concert entertained the students in the high school which houses the years five to ten. The young trio from Finland created a groovy atmosphere in the gymnasium using electronic sounds combined with traditional guitar, vocals and of course no quality Finnish outfit would be complete without the accordian.

 

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Day:313, Words:313

There has been some challenges associated with this glorious time of year that I have previously been unaware of. For the past few mornings, the journey to work has started awkwardly. The car makes a struggling noise as it fails to budge from its overnight position. The first thought is to check underneath the vehicle for built up ice or snow that might be restricting its movement. There appeared to be little to prevent the forward movement but sometimes the wheels would spin in a groove of ice. I sprinkled a smattering of crushed stones, in hope that the wheels would grip and tried again. As I reved the engine to high levels, I noticed an odour of burnt rubber. This time the car lurched forward, only to struggle down the hill. The neighbour was pointing wildly to the wheel and shouting something, seemingly important, judging by the urgency in his voice.

" Your breaks are on!"




Apparently, the use of the handbrake in cars in winter is not advised. Having lived here for three and a half years, I thought I had experienced enough to qualify as an adopted Øksfjordian who possessed all the necessary skills to survive a tough winter in the north.




It has something to do with the fluid freezing, melting and feezing again that can result in a permanent braking situation. During lunch time conversations, I was made aware that this problem is quite common in French cars, especially Citroens. The advice that I received was simple; Don't use the handbrake during the winter. The only problem is that there are a number of medium to steep hills and driveways in mountainous Øksfjord. To make matters worse, the presently mild conditions, ensures a rain, snow, freezing cycle, which produces layers of ice that are smooth and extremely slippery.




Life above the Arctic circle wasn't meant to be easy!

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Day:312, Words:312

It is Wednesday in the vibrant village of Øksfjord. The days have been clear and crisp, which is more representative of a March or even Easter period. There has been little rain throughout the entire autumn and the stability has been enjoyed. The storms will surely arrive with time though, as will the road closures, the ferry cancellations and the flight delays. In the meantime, the countdown to Christmas has begun, and we have so far retained our sanity.

The biggest debate since the Communism versus Capitalism saga continues in the Alta news. The hospital structure in Finnmark argument carries on and it appears to be getting ugly. The politicians are seeking answers from the health minister, although it is the questions that are so confusing. Will the authorities continue the push for a re development of the current hospital in Hammerfest, despite the overwhelming shift in population trends towards Alta? How can one of the richest countries in the world not be able to afford a paint job on its most northern hospital?

Meanwhile in the U.S of A, it is the Obama party that is in full swing. Finnmark's own Hilde Restad was on the scene throughout the entire campaign and the election. From a small place outside of Hammerfest to the internationaly renowned United World College in New Mexico, Hilde has been the face and voice of the election with reports for both TV2 and NRK. She correctly predicted the result, that proved extremely popular in Norway, around Europe and almost everywhere except for a few conservative American states. Four more years!

Closer to home and Alta's Amfi shopping centre is now officially recognised as the second best in the country. One of the proud leaders of the Amfi organisation said that sound economic results, motivated shop managers and satisfied customers were the main reasons behind the centre's success.

 

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Day:311, Words:311

Agent 007 showed his face in Øksfjord today as the new James Bond film was being played at the town hall cinema. The year 10s were responsible for putting out the plastic blue chairs and taking the cash for the tickets. At 100 kroner a pop, these are not the cheapest film prices going around and the surroundings are not quite gold class, but the atmosphere is cosy. It's a bit like watching a movie with all your friends in an enormous lounge room. It is a case of BYO popcorn and drinks as there are no monster sized, monster priced cups of watered down cola on sale in this establishment.

There will be Norwegian subtitles at the bottom of the giant screen, but the majority won't need them. All Norwegians under the age of 60 have an excellent understanding of the English language. Even the oldest generation has picked up a basic understanding through travels as fishermen, interactions with the English or their dealings with internationals during the war. Although some Norwegians are less than confident in their abilities to converse in the Queen's English, a couple of drinks late at night have tempted many shy souls to present monologues that Shakespeare and Churchill would be more than proud of.

The pop culture is of course influenced by the mass of American, British and Australian television programs. Australia's most dangerous animals, Australia's most populated beaches and Australia's drunkest women are just some of the offerings that are crowding the high definition plasma screens. There must have been some sort of 2 for 1 sale on crappy Aussie programs.

A conversation around the water cooler revealed that Skippy was a favourite on the only channel available in the 80s. Across the border in Sweden however, the show was banned due to the portrayal of an animal possessing human traits. Enough said!

 

 

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Day:310, Words:310

Welcome to the last week of sunlight for this year. That's right, there will be no more talk of sunlit afternoons, no more glorious sunsetting pics and no more shadows. It is a fact of life that everyone up here needs to deal with, but it can take its toll on certain people. This period before Christmas is particulary difficult as often the snow disappears with intervals of heavy rain and dark skies. The body takes its time to adjust to the lack of sunlight and the contagious yawns are spotted everywhere. It is not just the new arrivals to the Arctic circle that struggle with the 'dark time'. It affects different prople in different ways and there are those who are born and bred in these parts that can also feel the lows of November.

It is perhaps why the natural phenomenen of the northern lights is greatly appreciated here. In the past week, Øksfjordians have been fortunate enough to receive several visits from these swirly green dragons of the night sky. In the depths of winter on a dark, yet clear night, the northern lights can brighten up the sky and perform a magical show of swirling manouvers and freaky patterns that disappear and reappear.

It is also why Christmas is so big here as it provides an escape and a focus away from the darker days.

Since we turned the clocks back an hour, the mornings have been more pleasant with daylight streaming in when the curtains are pulled to the side, making it easier to attack the new work day. Of course, the early afternoons are blanketed in darkness. The daylight savings system is somewhat obsolete in the these parts as for half of the year, the sun is either stationed constantly above the horizon or hidden beneath it. At least the curtains will not fade!

 

 

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Day:309, Words:309

Sunday in Øksfjord and the lake is slowly freezing over and the days are quickly becomming shorter.

It's time to take a look at the activities in Alta. The Norwegian princess, Mette-Marit is coming to Alta in February to open the new church. The impressive 'Nordlys Cathederal' has been an long term project drowned in controversy. The biggest boo boo was when it was admitted that the church was being built in the wrong place, and the construction was temporarily brought to a halt. On the opening day, after Mette-Marit cuts the ribbon, the service will be simulcast on the airwaves via NRK radio. There is also a possibility that NRK TV will broadcast the event.

Last night, police were called to the night spot 'City Scene' after security could not control a guest, who was arrested for causing a disturbance at around 3am.

A man in his 40s was helping himself to food from a supermarket and leaving without paying last night at 11pm. He was acting in a threatening manner according to staff, before leaving the shop with his upaid goods. The police were called and promptly arrested the gentleman.

On Friday afternoon, a teenager called police after losing control of his vehicle and hitting a pedestrian. The driver had slid down a hill and hit a young teenage boy, who was unharmed. Witnesses at the scene said that the car was travelling at a low speed. It's good to see the youth of today behaving and doing the right thing.

It appears though that not all young folk are equally responsible. The Alta paper reports that a couple of others, who also experienced some car trouble, chose not to call police. The car drove off the road, before the driver and passenger escaped the scene. Police later tracked down the pair and issued a blood test.

 

 

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Day:308, Words:308

Oh thank goodness, Saturday has arrived. You wouldn't think that life could be busy in such a small village, but it can be suprisingly hectic. The week days fly by as the hours are filled with working, delivering and collecting kids, afternoon activities, working bees, parent teacher meetings, union meetings, football club meetings, art exhibitions, library visits and snow shovelling.

By Saturday morning, the soul is in deparate need of a relaxing meet up with friends and collegues and the newest cafe in town provides that opportunity.

The quaint, cosy and friendly atmosphere at 'Dattera til Larson' ensures that between 12 and 4pm on Saturdays, the tables are full and there is a steady queue at the waffle and coffee station. Each week the owner bakes a different cake and today there was a high creamy one with strawberries assembled neatly on top.

There was discussion of the possibility of installing a machine capable of making macchiatos, lattes and cappucinos. The truth be known though, if such an investment was made, 94 % of the residents would continue to fill their cups with Northern Norwegian black coffee.

With the temperatures dropping outdoors, the heaters inside the cafe (which is actually a transformed garage) were turned up to 11. The walls are lined with creative, pre loved pictures and window frames and gives a bohemian feeling to the popular Øksfjord meeting place.

Later in the evening at around 10 pm, the cafe will be transformed into a bar. The music might be turned up a little and the patronage may slightly change, but the cosy atmosphere will continue into the early morning. Whatever you like to use it for, Øksfjord needs a place like 'Dattera til Larson'. A place for us to meet, so that we can escape our jobs and our homes in the depths of winter. Skål!

 

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Day:307, Words:307

As I drove to work today, there was something that just wasn't quite right. A feeling that some small alterations had been made but I couldn't put my finger on it. As I pulled up to the car park and glanced at the vehicle next to me, it suddenly hit. A large number of the cars in this quiet, little village were missing number plates. Øksfjord is not been noted for theft or vandelism or even serial practical jokers. I made some enquiries and received the answer.

Apparently, a van from the Norwegian road and traffic authority were in town and checking all of the registered vehicles. They were checking that everything was up to date, such as the compulsory biannual EU check up, insurance and other mandatory registration necessecities. If a car was found to be lacking one or more of the red tape fundamentals, the 'technicians' in the van would promtly remove both the front and rear number plates. It would then be the responsibilty of the car owner to organise the retrieval of the plates, at their own expense of course.

In at least one instance today, the missing number plates were the result of an unfortunate misunderstanding. When informed of the mistake, the plate removal workers in their van responded with this..."Our policy is that once a number plate is removed, it cannot be re installed." You can't beat good old fashioned government organisation customer service.

The clear days, the cold weather and the early snow falls have been welcomed by the keen skiers that have quickly begun to utilise the conditions before they quickly change again. The lights lining the cross country ski trails have been switched on in the Vassdalen valley and the swishing soundtrack of poles and skis have replaced the previously rushing river sounds, which is now deathly silent.

 

 

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