Day:222, Words:222

All eyes were on the telly this afternoon as the Norwegian girls competed in the women's handball semi final against arch rivals Korea. Norway has traditionally been very strong in women's handball and started this Olympic tournament as strong favourites. I find it strange that one the biggest sports in the country is not and has never been played in Øksfjord on any sort of level. Granted a larger gymnasium is required to host official games, yet outside of watching the national teams, the game is hardly mentioned. The kids do not know the rules and I don't even know if a handball actually exists in this town.

Anyway, the handball girls on the telly performed a damn sight better than they have so far this tournament and held off a stubborn and persistent Korean side to advance to the gold medal match on Saturday night. The second semi final was played between Spain and the apparently great handball nation of Montenegro. For the record, Montenegro won a close battle and will challenge Norway for Olympic gold in 48 hours time.

Meanwhile in Alta, police were called when three horses ran wild through the town. The owner of the confused animals was duly notified, although it is not known how they escaped. Just another day on the beat for the northern cops!

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Day:221, Words:221

Norway won its first gold medal today in the sport of kayaking. The surprise victory was replayed dozens of times across the various networks and flags were waved in patriotic pride. Interestingly, there has also been a lot of support for the nordic neighbours. Whenever the Danes or Swedes are in a final, the interest level is raised and the commentators are open in their support of these athletes over the gold spoilt Chinese and Americans.

The duck lottery sale is going along nicely, with over half of the 350 plastic animals sold already. The excitement is building for the many other activities to be enjoyed over the Øksfjord festival week. A jumping castle, fishing competition, stand up comedy and a quiz night are some of the highlights.

Due to the less than horrid weather, there was a spontaneous gathering at Vassdalen lake last night. The group gathered to tell tales of recent summer adventures and consumed barbequed treats. Those who can, pulled in a few trout and the valley dogs chased each other up the mountain until they collapsed with exhaustion. Eventually as the sun disapeared below the horizon, we had to admit that it was getting cool. The coffee was packed away and all headed off home, hoping that this was not the last pleasant evening of the summer.

 

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Day:220, Words:220

The Vassdalen committee had an important meeting regarding the events to be held in Vassdalen during the Øksfjord festival next week. Among the points that were discussed was the running of the annual duck lottery race (see day 218) and the contingency plan, to be deployed, should the ducks be stuck again as was the case last year.

It was good to see some positive media attention given to Øksfjord's Coop supermarket. The management has generously donated a brand new oven to the church.

Some good news regarding the caravan situation at the upcoming Alta football tournament. Earlier in the week, it was announced that due to asphalt work, the caravan army would not be welcome this year during the three day event. However, an area closer to the football stadium has been made available to Øksfjord's camping community.

Recent figures show that international tourism is on the rise in Norway, the biggest increase occuring in Northern Norway, notably Finnmark. Overall, hotels in Northern Norway increased their occupation in June this year by seven percent compared to last year. Camping areas however, recorded a decline of seven percent. It just might have something to do with the chilly summer we have experienced.

Pitching a tent is driving rain and arctic winds would send many running towards a five star option!

 

 

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Day:219, Words:219

Preparations are under way for nine football teams from Øksfjord to travel to Alta for the biggest football tournament in Northern Norway. Practice games and training took place today, before the first games are played on Friday morning. The youngest teams were thrown into the spotlight as TV Nord is filming a documentary about the involvement of football in Finnmark, from a range of different perspectives. The coach was interviewed in depth and the kids were filmed during training.

In a remarkable coincidence, a boyfriend of one of the documentary makers happened to be from Australia and was suprised to learn that one of his countrymen was living 100 metres from where they were filming. He was sent up the road at once to have a coffee and talk about footy, vegemite and Eddie McGuire.

The Alta tournament is a social highlight for kids and parents alike. A caravan village is set up on the grounds of a school close to one of the football fields and the kids come and go as they play at various venues around town. However, it was announced last night that due to some work being done at the school, that caravans may not be permitted this year, throwing the accommodation options into chaos.

Tenting can be cold at this time of year!

 

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Day:218, Words:218

The Olympics are taking up a lot of time during these late summer days. The Norwegian hopes have been active in events such as rowing, middle distance running and walking. I have a problem with walking as an Olympic sport. Granted the athletes are highly skilled in their craft and train incredibly hard, but the line between walking and running is extremely thin and the legal definitions appear to be occupying an emormous grey area.

Walking in the dictionary is stated as 'advancing with the feet alternately so that one foot remains on the ground at all times'. The hundreds of slow motion replays during the 30 km event suggest that almost all were not walking, according to the definition. Official judges spread around the course offer red card warnings to those who 'accidentally' run and three of these warnings equate to a disqualification.

My concern is that often a walker/runner will win with two red cards ahead of a walker with none. There is also the question of subjectivity from the judges. What deserves a red card? Are there some competitors that luckily avoid a warning or two, despite their inclination to trot a little? It is a frustrating sport to watch and a bugger to officiate.

Keeping walking in the park and off the medal dais!

 

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Day:217, Words:217

The annual Øksfjord festival is only a week away. The posters have been printed and pinned to village noticeboards. One of the highlights in previous years has been the duck race. 350 plastic yellow ducks will be tossed into the river in Vassdalen on Friday 17th. The first 3 ducks to make the journey to the river mouth receive substantial cash prizes.

Today the ducks went on sale. Each duck is numbered between 1 and 350 and can be purchased for 100 kroner. First place is 1000 kroner, second place recieves 7000 kroner and third place recieves 500 kroner. (The Norwegian words for second and duck are close, which explains the larger second prize). Around 60 ducks were purchased today and there is sure to be a rush in the days leading up to the big event.

The locals are hoping measures are put in place to prevent a repeat of last year's borefest. Due to a warm and dry summer, there was little water in the river causing most of the ducks to be beached. After well over an hour, a few ducks struggled to the finish line, to the relief of the few spectators that were left.

As it has not stopped raining since May, I doubt the same problem will arise again this year.

 

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Day:216, Words:216

In a place like Øksfjord, some things are out of reach. Mcdonalds, a good macchiato and cheap furniture. IKEA lies just over the border in Sweden and Northern Norwegians are flocking to Haparanda with mini vans, station wagons and trailors in order to redecorate their abodes in modern Swedish style.

Furniture is not the only product Norwegians will cross the border for. Cheap alcohol, cigarettes and meat is a popular reason for folk from up here to cross into Finland. There used to be a limit per person, which led to vans of small children being taken on a trip across the border, leaving enough room for the good things in life. Nowdays, the limit is per vehicle and if caught by the border control, the fine is hardly worth the risk.

Rain and fog once again filled the day. The only consulation is that the rest of the country has also experienced a soggy and unpleasant summer. Even the so called stable weather pockets in Finland and Sweden have been cursed by the depressing conditions. Some have become so desparate for sun and warmth, that last minute flights have been booked to southern Europe. Others are evaluating the possibilty of escaping during the Christmas break. Opening presents beside the pool in Thailand is quite enticing.

 

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Day:215, Words:215

Øksfjord and the surrounding areas attract a heap of keen fishermen from all around Europe. Shane, an inexperienced sea fisherman from England is part of a large group enjoying a fishing adventure holiday in nearby Sandland. He landed a ridiculously large halibut weighing in at 91 kilograms. He said it was hard work and required assistance of two others to haul the giant fish out of the water.

The folk at Sandland are super excited about the record catch and are hoping that Shane will spread the word back home. The fishing group are enjoying their trip and throw most of their catch back into the ocean. The record halibut however was donated to the locals. Shane and his friends have already booked their holiday in Sandland for next August.

The fishing tourism trade is an exploding industry in and around Øksfjord. Accommodation and boats are booked out from May to September at least a year in advance and there are more arriving in April and staying later, even as the weather starts to turn ugly in October. Despite the drivng rain and soul eating cold winds, they are out in their fishing suits, apparently enjoying themselves.

If this keeps up, they might have to think about erecting a Hilton hotel to accommodate the masses.

 

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Day:214, Words:214

The midnight sun is no more. At around 11pm, the street lights switch on. Considering the amount of rain, fog, cloud and cold northern winds that the region has experienced this summer, it is a depressing thought that the days are quickly becomming shorter. However, the sun provided some rare warmth today as the mecury topped the magical 20 degree mark, enough motivation for teenagers to bathe in the chilly fjord and for pensioners to take their tops off.

Meanwhile in Alta, the salmon fishermen were miffed when a number of seals frolicked nearby, scaring off all potential catches. There were calls for the legalisation of seal shooting, which received more support than one might think.

The school year is two short weeks away and the ongoing Nuvsvåg school closure debate is continuing. Some families have moved, teachers have taken up positions in Hammerfest and others have investigated the possibility of home schooling. One dedicated teacher has offered his services privately as an alternative to sending kids on a three hour daily boat and bus trip.

If the move to close the school was motivated by finances, there has certainly been a glut of time, energy and money spent since the announcement and there is still a lot of questions waiting to be answered.

 

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Day:213, Words:213

There are several 'summer posts' scattered around Øksfjord that locals will walk to and write their names in the notebooks that sit in each 'post box'. The post set at the highest point is on 'Middagstind', a mountain peak at around 850 metres above sea level. The climb up is tough, the way down is at times treacheros and murder on the knees. I decided it was time to take my nine year old son on a moutainous adventure.

We set off at 10.30 and I tried to remember the correct path to start on. At about the 200 metre mark, we started to sweat and the insects invaded. Flies, mosquitoes and a bunch of other unidentified annoying animals surrounded our heads, occassionally darting in and out of ears, noses and mouths.

After a good 2 hours, we could see the top and skipped towards the rocky tower with new energy. We scribbled down our names in the scruffy exercise book and sat there inhaling the 360 degree views.

The trip down was less than enjoyable. The fields of loose rocks on the steep decline caused multiple falls and the occassional mini avalanche. After an hour and a half of knee shaking pain, we were on flat land and boasting of our accomplishments.

 

 

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Day:212, Words:212

Northern Norway has always been recognised as a place of beauty yet now it is being recognised as a venue for top entertainment and sporting events. During the recent music festival season, some international household names have made the trip including Elton John and Thin Lizzy. The 80s pop duo Pet Shop Boys have also just signed to be a part pf the Døgnvill festival in Tromsø.

Now there is talk amongst the Tour de France organisers to look at a shorter tour of Northern Norway. The scenery is spectacular along the coast and the undulating roads and challenging mountain passes seem an ideal set up for the big names of cycling to tackle.

The less than flattering media coverage for the 'Coop' supermarket in Øksfjord appears to have made a positive impact. Whether it was harsh words from high management or something else, the store has never looked so full and organised. A quick check in the milk and yoghurt shelves confirmed that there was a full range of goods, all within the use by dates.

After purchasing a lotto ticket in nearby Burfjord, a family man in his 40s from Kautokeino celebrated quietly after pocketing a satisfying 11.7 million kroner.

 

 

 

 

 

Day:211, Words:211

The government owned television station NRK has the rights and responsibility to show the Olympic Games from London. Norwegians are more prominent during the Winter Games, yet they are as patriotic as always despite the limited medal chances. The women's handball is the major focus as the national team is current world and olympic champions and a good chance of defending the title. The campaign got off to a nervous start late last night as the aggressive and stronger French team took control in the first half, before the Norwegian girls came back in the second half. It was a nail biter as the game came down to the final seconds. Unfortunately the French ladies held on for an exciting one goal victory.

Back in Northern Norway, the family, enjoying their mini break at the summer farm, jumped into an old wooden boat, equipped with a new motor for a casual spot of fishing. Fishing in Northern Norway is extremely satisfying for those who don't enjoy five hour trips with a couple of nibbles. Bait is unheard of as fish of all shapes and sizes appear to jump onto a hook time after time. It was a session of catch and release as the kids were more interested in the thrill of the catch than the filleting, cooking and eating.

 

Day:210, Words:210

The supermarket in Øksfjord has been a little on the bare side in the past days. It appears that senior management was needed in a store in Alta, leaving the local store to one or two experienced staff and a large proportion of inexperienced juniors. Somewhere along the line, the ordering process was not adequately fulfilled, leaving empty aisles and frustrated shoppers. The 'Coop' supermarket has taken a bit of a battering lately in the media with complaints coming from both long time locals and visiting summer tourists.

One of the concerns was the ongoing existence of out of date goods, including milk and yoghurt. Other complaints referred to rotten fruit and the absence of everyday necessities. According to one pensioner, the store cannot be trusted to stock what is needed for important occassions such as birthdays, dinner parties, christenings and confirmations. It appears more and more are taking their shopping elsewhere, travelling two hours to Alta and spending thousands of kroner, denying the local community of much needed funds.

Unfortunateley, while the boss is away, it is the mostly inexperienced staff who have had to deal with both the summer rush and the complaints that comes from the frustrated and unsatisfied customers.

Remember to check the dates on your milk!

 

Day:209, Words:209

The sun and the clouds fought an intense battle today. It was a case of jumper on, jumper off, bathers on, hop in the pool, freeze. The rain stayed away for once and the kids enjoyed a variety of activities. One of the new toys for both big and small was the archery set. Arrows flew through the air over the homemade football pitch, narrowly avoiding the eldest boys on their bikes, performing stunts on their bikes, and four year olds, proudly staying upright on their bikes.

Apparently optimism sells as all of the major newspapers are teasing with bright suns on the front page under similar headings of a 'promised' late summer. The fact is that, this may be one of those rare, yet totally plausible situations when the days were ticked off and the summer never came.

The sheep have escaped once again and are on the loose up one mountain or another. They have escaped before and it took two solid days to walk them back to their grassy paddock.

The evening was a blur of good wine and competitive board games. No mattter how old one becomes, the enjoyment of sitting in a holiday house with a large group of people is a wonderful thing.

 

 

Day:208, Words:208. (guest writer Mats Patterson)

Today's guest writer is 9 year old Mats.

I woke up at 9 am and after my shower, I styled my hair with spikes and a touch of red hairspray. I had cheerios for breakfast and watched kids tv. We have both Cartoon Network and Disney XD. I helped pack as today we were going to Hamneidet, the summer cottage that belongs to my grandfather.

After packing, I took my cute little brother and jumped on the trampoline. He loves to play with me on the trampoline. We play a kind of 'tag' by running around like crazy in circles, bouncing and falling over.

When we were finished playing, my brother and I took our beloved beagle, Baron , for a walk to the lake. We went inside to have lunch and we were then on our way.

Finally we made it to kid heaven, 'Hamneidet'. We jumped on one of the two trampolines but were fighting with my brother and his cousin over the best and biggest trampoline.

We played heaps of football but I shot the ball over the goal and the ball landed in a bunch of high grass that burns your bare skin. I covered my arms but it is possible I will be itchy tomorrow.

 

Day:207, Words:207

A groundbreaking new study has revealed some extraordinary and suprising results. People in Northern Norway are most upset when the weather is bad! Other studies have shockingly revealed that people drink more on Fridays than Tuesdays and that those living in Finnmark prefer their coffee black.

Still on the topic of the current, less than satisfactory, summer conditions, the upcoming cloudberry season may be ruined due to cold temperatures and rain. These little orange clumps of delight, are heavily sought after and a range of Autumn recipes rely on their abundance. The maturation process of the cloudberries are at least two weeks late, according to local berry experts. They report that although there will be enough to satisfy the Christmas Eve dessert requirements, it appears there won't be much left over to store in the freezer.

With all this rain and wind, the Øksfjord landscape has taken on a very Irish look. The lush grass and the fast growing trees makes for a green scene. Moss is crawling over the mountain, and the waterfalls and rivers are flowing as quickly as ever. The kids seem to be undeterred by the wet conditions as they camp in their backyard tents, ride their bikes and bounce on their soggy trampolines.

 

 

Day:206, Words:206

The community lounge at the Øksfjord aged care facility is utilised in a number of ways. It is a popular cafe for the elderly in the village and is also rented out for confirmations, christenings and birthdays. The problem is that when more than a dozen people assemble for these events, the noise levels climb to uncomfortable levels. According to the pensioners association, the substandard acoutics within the room cause headaches, especially for those with hearing aids. The association has applied to the council for help with the noise pollution problem.

Last weekend, the town hall played host to an Øksfjord reunion. The event was a celebration of the musical talents that have come out of the village over the past 40 years. Former high school bands, internationally known artists and current starlets from Øksjord came together to reminisce and jam. The night was a brilliant success and proof that small towns provide more than its fair share of cultural talent. However, it was a non musical element that proved to be the highlight of the evening. A creative gentleman used the drawing of the raffle to propose on stage to his blushing, unsuspecting girlfriend in front of 150 cheering guests.

Naturally, she said yes!

 

Day:205, Words:205

Øksfjord is a ghost town. It appears ironic that the best time of the year is when the locals choose to escape. On the other hand, the persistent drizzle and grey skies, make the grass appear extremely green everywhere else. The football field is empty apart from a toddler and a mum walking the family dog. Judging by the amount of droppings on our lawn, I would say that the reindeer population at the minute far outweighs people. This in itself has sparked new debate as the late, if at all, onset of summer has caused the reindeer owners to keep their animals closer to sea level a while longer.

The neighbours, being mostly pensioners are ever present, and when chatting about the weather over the past three weeks, their response is not ambiguous. It's been Crappy!

After success at last year's Øksfjord festival, the local cafe/ bar 'Dattera til Larson' has reopened. Despite the cooler than anticipated conditions, the summerly establishment has been well frequented.

Otherwise life goes on as tourists continue to be bussed in, fish themselves to exhaustion and return, hopefully to spread the good word.

At the general store, the new edition of 'Øksfjord News' is practically jumping off the shelves.

 

Day:204, Words:204

The sun tried to squeeze through the thick layers of clouds today just as we were packing to return home to Øksfjord. What is it about suitcases and the way they expand in size, making it suddenly impossible to fit into the car. By late evening we were home, in sleepy Øksfjord, after three weeks away. Our bin was not in its usual place as our kind neighbour had put in out on bin day.

There was a certain feeling of apprehension as we drove passed our cellar door. Prior to leaving for our holidays, we had consulted the local 'AKSIS' a business that provides work for people who find it hard to find other employment for a number of reasons.

The Øksfjord department has provided many locals with handmade furniture, book shelves and picture frames and we had requested a dog door to be installed in our cellar door. In typical Finnmark fashion, we left for our holiday without a celler door but with an assurance that it would be done within a day or two. A day or two can sometimes translate to four months up here, so were plesantly suprised to find a magnificent cellar door complete with installed beagle entrance.

Day:203, Words:203

With a flock of kids and a day of rain approaching the executive desicion was made to take a drive to the glorious valley in Nordreisa. The rain held off and the traditional fire was lit for the cooking of the summer sausages. Meanwhile, a group of middle aged fishermen stood in the river collecting large salmon and sipping cans of beer. The only minus was in the form of over aggressive mosquitoes that attaked in large swarms and forced all to cover up any naked skin areas.

Saturday dinner was at the prize winning Bios restaurant. Voted best in Norway for 2 years running, the eatery hosts thousands of international tourists during summer and locals all year round.The big boys enjoyed Saturday snacks, coke and films in the cosy caravan, before tired heads finally hit the pillow at 1 am.

Meanwhile as the charter season hits full swing, an over enthusiastic man, who boarded in Tromsø on his way to the Canary Islands, was forced to leave the plane at a stop over in Oslo following an over indulgence of pre holiday beverages. The incident is not uncommon and many make good use of the bar situated next to the boarding gate.

 

 

Day:202, Words:202

Back in Northern Norway and according to the calendar it remains summer, although a peek outside confirms the complaints that have been raging through the social media. 'The worst summer in living memory' has been the theme as some families, having returned from the tropical south have booked a second holiday in response to the grey skies and constant drizzle.

Despite the murky conditions, a group of under 10s are in kid heaven in Hamneidet, a few hours drive south of Øksfjord. The spacious family property is the scene of a range of fun including trampolines, a mini size football pitch and a play loft. A swimming pool is able to be used with the aid of wetsuits and a wood heated hot tub comes in handy during the recent run of atrocious weather.

The property also doubles as a mini zoo, with horses, sheep and a wild rabbit, who takes pleasure in teasing the family beagle. To complete the country club like setup, the kids have access to numerous mini motorized vehicles, kayaks and a boat. When they have totally exhausted themselves, they can retire to their own private caravan.

It's just like being a kid in the 1950 s. Who needs playstation!

 

Day:201, Words:201: Øksfjordians on holiday

The Øksfjordians woke up in diverse and hectic Copenhagen and went to bed in the serene surroundings of Hamneidet.

The family left the world's smallest room in central Copenhagen and explored the highlights before the afternoon flights. The cooler climate was welcoming and there were few complaints about the overcast, drizzly conditions. Lunch was enjoyed at the Irish owned Irish bar.

Copenhagen really is a people watching kind of town. There are all types strolling through one of the world's longest walking streets or cycling on the cleverly constructed bike lanes throughout the friendly city.

Despite the large July crowds, the atmosphere was relaxed as the masses sat in the open squares, enjoying a Carlsberg or a quality Danish ice cream.

Even the super touristy Ripleys and Guiness museums were not as pushy as they are in other cities. It was a pleasant end to the holiday before the final trek to Oslo and then Tromsø.

The very long day actually moved into tomorrow, following a three and a half hour drive north. Despite the midnight sun, the gloomy weather cast a dark shadow over the fjords. Two days in Hamneidet and back to Øksfjord reality where hopefully an Indian summer awaits...

 

Day:200, Words:200: Øksfjordians on holiday!

The Øksfjordians stumbled out of their Turkish palace at 4.45am and waited by the side of the road for the bus to take them to the airport and back to cooler reality of Northern Europe. It was early morning German humour as various tanned 50 somethings bounced onto the bus with broad smiles and bleached hair.

The day was a blur of transfer lounge couch surfing, pretzel consuming purgatoty as the change in flight schedules meant a 6 hour wait in Dusseldorf, the epitome of mediocre airport existence. The passport control men looked particulary grumpy as they studied and interrogated those standing before us in the queue. When our turn came to cross the red line, the scary man smiled kindly and waved us through in an instant.

After 16 hours of waiting with some plane travel sqeezed in between, the exhausted family reached Copenhagen once again. A short train ride and a stroll down the bicycle scattered road and we were confronted again by the dreaded code/corridoor maze before finally gaining entry to our haven for the night.

I believe not even the old woman who lived in the shoe would have considered a straight swap of dwellings!

 

Day:199, Words:199: Øksfjordians on holiday!

For the well rested Øksfjordians, the holiday is almost over. The last morning in Side was spent buying last minute gifts for family and friends. In Turkey, a selection of local spices is the way to go. The afternoon was dedicated to enjoying the poolside entertainment. A spontaneous Turkish dance saw a group of staff and several tourists plunging into the pool. Ice creams, sunscreen and cold drinks were top priority. Otherwise, it was a sleepy combination of reading and floating about, bumping into pensioners and sunburnt teenagers.

The evening program at the Melissa Garden Hotel consisted of Bingo and Karaoke. As it was our last night, the staff had decorated the table with flowers and an odd yet beautiful display of napkin and glass art. The guests were confused about the rules of the Turkish Bingo and the Scottish contingent repeated the numbers with their own pronunciation. The highlight however was witnessing a suprised lass being deposited into the pool for not following the correct procedure.

As there was packing to be done and a ridiculous early start, the Øksfjordians said goodbye to the wonderful staff and let them get on with the night.

Thanks Turkey for your warmth!!

 

 

Day:198, Words:198: Øksfjordians on holiday!

A rare sight yesterday in the town of Side. While the rest of the restaurants were seducing, begging and even singing at passing tourists in attempts to get them to dine, the tables at 'Aphrodite' were full and the bar stools were occupied by waiting guests.

For a few hours, there was no need to harrass the families strolling by. It appears that word of mouth had worked wonders for the reputation of this restaurant in the extremely competeitive market of tourism and food. Several Øksfjordians before us had recommended 'Aphrodite' and other Norwegians couples staying at the Melissa Garden hotel had successfully dined there earlier in the week. It was not strange therefore that the vast majority of the customers seemed to be from the land of the midnight sun.

Being our last night in the old town, we decided to give it a shot. The food was delicious, the wine was blissfully chilled and the dessert was richer than the Sultan of Brunei.

Earlier, the day had been spent watching Norwegian kids playing with but struggling to understand Scottish kids, and listening to British divorcees discuss how far they had come in 'Fifty shades of Grey'.

 

 

Day:197, Words:197: Øksfjordians on holiday!

As the Øksfjordians walk through the chaotic evening atmosphere of the old town for the 8th time, the selling tricks are becoming predictable and boring. The restaurant spruikers usually open with; "Hello my friend, one minute please, where are you from?". When they hear the response, the persistent salesmen begin a monologue in either German, Norwegian or English pointing out the childrens play equipment, pet turtles or cheap food as the distinct advantages of eating at their particular establishment. Upon hearing that the passing tourists have already eaten, they tend to respond in disbelief " Really?, where did you eat?", as if trying to catch you out. "You want to eat again? Dessert? Irish coffee?"

The T-shirt salesmen are equally ambitious. Staring curiously at your football shirt or shorts that had been purchased earlier in the day from another vendor, they seem intent on selling the exact same product, only cheaper. " Hello Ronaldo, we have Ronaldo shirts here. How much did you pay...much cheaper here....good quality....made in Ukraine..."

Of course it is all part of the adventure. Tomorrow, I intend to wear a Pakistan cricket shirt and claim that I am from the Cook Islands..

 

Day:196, Words:196: Øksfjordians on holiday!

Today we visit the issue of ethics around the hotel pool. From as early as 6am, the daily towel march takes place as sleepy residents place their belongings on the sun beds. They carefully arrange tables and unbrellas to suit their poolside needs, before retiring to the room to sleep. By 7.15am, all of the sun beds are occupied, to the dismay of early rising families, that are ready for pool action at 7.30. One of the staff caused a bit of a stir by removing the unused towels on two of the sun beds, so that a present couple could enjoy them.

Another theme that needs to be visited is children control and what is considered to be appropriate action. Rule 45a clearly states that adults who choose to either set up camp beside the baby pool, or even bathe in it, rescind their rights to complain about splashing, jumping and other childish activities.

Although the usual commands of 'Don't Run' or 'Put down that cat' are commonly heard, one loud parent has raised eyebrows with her constant berating, yelling and public humiliation of her daughters, despite a seemingly lack of mischief on their part.

 

Day:195, Words:195: Øksfjordians on holiday!

Another scorcher in Side, Turkey and positive reports from Øksfjord of temperatures in the 20s. One of the more flirtatious members of staff has been secretly recommending a restaurant in the old town ahead of his own workplace, the Melissa Apartment Hotel restaurant. After a long and exhausting day sitting by the pool and doing very little but swim, eat and drink, we decided to take Alex's advice and check out the 'Cuba Bar' on the sea ( I'm sure he was receiving some kind of commission for his efforts).

We arrived at 7pm as the large hot orange sun was starting to sink towards the horizon. The restaurant was positioned on the end of a long pier and had a spectacular view of the mediterranean, the quaint part of the old town and the quiet surrounding beaches. It seemed an eternity away from the noise and aggressive sales tactics on the main drag.

After dinner, several Northern Norwegian families retired to the private sandy beach in the 'drinks and dessert' area and sat blissfully on the scattered coloured beanbags, sipping icy coctails and watching silhouetted kids play in the shallows.




Thanks for the tip Alex!

 

 

Day:194, Words:194: Øksfjordians on holiday!

There are two types of suprises in life and both were experienced by the Øksfjordians today. It was an early start with a full day tour commencing at the beach before 9am. Strangely enough though, the price that was paid to partake in the Mangavat waterfall tour did not include the waterfall itself. The equivalent, I guess, might be the Grand Canyon tour that takes place somewhere in Northern Canada, with an extra wad of cash required for the bus to take you there.

The other suprising element was the lack of turtle action, considering that, along with the waterfall, turtle watching, was one of the selling points for the tour! Nevertherless, the freshly prepare lunch and the swim in the middle of the Mediterranean was a highlight. Pleasant suprises came in the evening. The 7 piece dance troupe was so talented, they seemed more suited to a concert hall in Instanbul or London, than a cosy 3 star resort. The belly dancer was equally impressive with her rythmic pulsations captivating spectators both young and old. If that wasn't enough, the diligent staff performed a breathing and juggling exhibition. What a wonderfully varied place!

 

 

Day:193, Words:193: Øksfjordians on holiday!

The staff at the increasingly Norwegian 'Melissa Garden' hotel had another long day in the oppressive conditions. Dressed in their Norwegian flag t-shirts during the day, no doubt to impress the many Norwegian residents, the young staff had a short break before they changed into smart evening wear and prepared the resort for a turkish kebab buffet and magic show.

After hours spent throwing young bikini clad girls into he pool, the young gentlemen were a model of proffesionalism, providing excellent food and wine service with cheeky smiles, despite having been on their feet for 14 hours.

Like all new places, it takes a few days to learn the house rules. The daily ritual of travelling on the highly stressful, yet also exhilerating 'dolmus' bus, which translated means 'stuffed ' has its own set of bizzare procedures. The fare appears to change each day, making it difficult for passengers to hand correct change to the driver/ cashier, while the dolmus is travelling at high speeds through the mayhem.

As the dolmus comes to a screeching stop, the driver aggressively waves the bewildered passengers off the vehicle, who must walk the remainder of the trip.

 

Day:192, Words:192: Øksfjordians on holiday!

I wonder if the locals wake up every morning, open the window, look toward the heavens and mutter "Looks, like it's going to be a warm one." The sight of road workers, and taxi drivers in cars without air conditioning, makes me want to stick my head in a bucket sized Mojito. They work terribly long days too. Yesterday, I had to step over a sleeping shop assistant to get to the milk. Even the dogs look exhausted spread out on the pavement, toungues out in the shade. The staff at the hotel, looking after he needs of the holidaying Øksfjordians are as hard working and dedicated as they come. They start from as early as 7, cleaning the pool side as the first of the guests race down with towels in order to secure the best positioned sunbeds, before retiring to their rooms for an extra 3 hours sleep.

The energetic staff, mostly young men in their early 20s, flirt with the girls all day long, chase the young kids, push each other into the pool, yet still find time to offer first class food and drink service with a smile.

 

Day:191,Words:191: Øksfjordians on holiday!

Fair is fair, I, like the next man, enjoy a spell of real warmth during the summer months, which is why, like many, we chose the southern European holiday option above staying home in the very pretty, yet meteorilogically unpredictable Northern Norway.

As the Øksfjordian family shuffled once again through the dusty Roman ruins in search of a refreshing drink and a bite to eat, the gaze drifted from the oncoming bustling Turkish motorists to the digital clock outside of a hotel. 50 degrees read the digital sign! No wonder we were sweating like the proverbials. A certain sense of pride and achievement was felt by the Øksfjordians as they collapsed at the first available shady restaurant.

Meanwhile, back home in Øksfjord, the complaints are of a different nature. Disgrunted, home holidayers, have finally lost patience and vented their anger on the social networking scene. The old wives tales and various weather rules have been proven to be as correct as the previous four doomsday predictions. A 40 degree differential between Turkey and Øksfjord is not to be scoffed at. Yet again....as the motto reads....we know where we live!

 

Day:190, Words:190: Øksfjordians on holiday!

The temperature climbed up to mid 40s and like the numerous other families from Norway, the Øksfjordians chose to camp at the poolside for most of the day. This idyllic situation is really what the sun starved folk of the north need, at least a couple of weeks a year. Cultural experience and historical perpective is important, but the feel of sweat on the forehead and tropical nights is what keeps them coming back year after year.

The charter tour is enjoyed by some and loathed by others.The Scandinavians like to put their well earned kroner to good use and invest their trust in one of many tour companies that ensure that nothing is like it as home, meaning cheap drinks, continous hot days and endless sandy beaches. The option is also there for the all incluive package which means that as many drinks, food and ice cream can be consumed as humanly possible.

During some chater flights, the fun begins with drinks being served at the gate, followed by some more beverage service on the plane and concluding with a raucous applause as it lands at the sunny destination.

 

Day:189, Words:189: Øksfordians on holiday!

While many Øksfjordians families enjoy the southern warmth, the weather reports coming out of home have been mixed. There was one recent 20 degree day that confirmed that summer had not misplaced Øksfjord's address. 20 degrees in Northern Norway means topless men in gardens, bbqs and Norwegian sea bathing.

Here in southern Turkey, there appears to be some sort of an identity crisis when it comes to currency. The euro is not only accepted, but preferred in many places to the Turkish lira. In a country that crosses the European Asian border the western European influence shouts loudest in the tourist strips. The Turkish culture can suprisingly be difficult to locate. The majority of restaurant owners seem convinced that everyone prefers garlic bread and cafe lattes, when really most would more appreciate Turkish bread, kebabs and a strong Turkish coffee.

Otherwise it is a case of pool living at its best. The Nordic tourists are satisfied with the warmth and outdoor swimming opportunities, the relative affordability of coktails and the possibilty of sitting outside after sundown without the need to rug up in front of a bonfire.

 

Day:188, Words:188, Øksfjordians on holiday!

The walk to the old town of Side is spectacular, suprising and at times extremely annoying. The tourist market is centred around the anciet roman ruins that include a magnificent theatre, ancient baths and temples.

Today thousands of tourists step over these centuries old remants daily as if they were inconvenient road works blocking the path.

There must be about 35,000 bars and restaurants lining the old streets and each of them employs a sales ninja, who is highly trained in the arts of closing the deal.

The well dressed employee will run through the advantages recieved by dining at this particular restaurant. A cheap kids menu, only 7 Turkish lira, a kids playground in the middle of the fine dining area, the best food in the entire universe, no service charge like all the other restaurants have ( they all say this) and the best seat in the restaurant ( mostly due to the lack of customers).

This procedure is repeated every 10 metres until you find yourself staring at awe at the remains of the Apollo temple, bathed in sun setting rays, leaning up against the tranquill Mediterranean.